WORK GRIEVANCE
I, Mr. Penis, hereby request a raise in salary based on the following reasons:
· I do physical labor.
· I work at great depths.
· I plunge head first into everything I do.
· I do not get weekends or public holidays
off.
· I work in a damp environment.
· I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
· I work in high temperatures.
· My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
· I work with a bunch of pussies – I’m the
only one that does any real work.
Thank you for your time and consideration on this matter.
Sincerely,
Ime A. Penis
Management’s Response:
Dear Mr. Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
· You do not work 8 hours straight.
· You fall asleep after brief work periods.
· You do not always follow the orders of
the management team.
· You do not stay in your designated work
area and are often seen visiting other
locations.
· You do not take initiative – you need to
be pressured and stimulated in order to
start working.
· You leave the workplace rather messy at
the end of your shift.
· You don’t always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct
protective clothing.
· You will retire well before you are 65.
· You are unable to work double shifts.
· You sometimes leave your designated work
area before you have completed the
assigned task.
And, if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace with two suspicious looking bags. If you still believe you deserve a raise after reviewing this, go talk to the pussies you say you work with.
Sincerely,
Management
