Over 16,558,955 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Now, if you'll excuse me - I need to take these eggs off of my face.
Yes. I have taken the eggs off of my eyes and placed them in a much better place. 
If you think life is bad... how would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes four minutes to get hard.
Only two minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys
Worst of all...the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!!
So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!!!
Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay, I mean day!!!
Hey There...I just wanted you all to know I am working on my profile still. I have many more things I am going to add, looking for a host right now, I have an awesome 3m Speed Racer (remix) I want you all to hear when you visit. {Giggles} I am so proud of it. This stuff is time consuming + I can't get my yard mowed {which I should be doing right now} however; I'm here playing...Oh-h and I have a sink of dishes too. {Giggles}
I am a Wonder Woman FAN & collector, I also have a secret signature. I hope to make you laugh or at least smile. All my pictures tell a story, it may be vague but once you get to know me, you will know exactly what I am keystroking about. {Giggles}
1 April is my 15 year Wedding Anniversary!
I have met some really FUN & swell people here at CherryTap!~ Ten of my online friends,I have known over a year. They truly know me. 
"I Love You Guys!" 
Ha Ha Ha I really enjoy leaving picture comments on my friends, family & fans profile. {Giggles} I want more lady friends! "GIRLS RULE!" No, I am no femo-nazi..it's just a girl thing! If you are my family, friend or fan I would be delighted if you signed my guestbook. Support Our Troops! Thank You.
YOU GUYS ARE FUN!!
Yes folks, I've just had this brilliant idea that self-deprecating humor is perfect for people like me. It's a great way to set up the would-be admirers with in-your-face-can-you-handle-it dialogue with your pitiful-but-abundantly-witty-state of mind.
The objective of this downhill run is to see if you can spot the defective areas from a distance, calculate whether or not the slope is do-able. Mentally prepare yourself for the twists and turns. Learn how to ski in armor for protection of the barbs and broken glass scattered around the course. The object is to have quick reflexes and not take anything too seriously as it really is just a matter of luck if anyone actually makes it down the slope. Most will say, screw it and walk away.
Which brings me to another great point of self-deprecating humor. It separates the gutsy ones from the whimps. The champs from the chimps. And if anyone should actually make it to the finish line, you'll damned well know they effin deserve a little respect.
If you are a girlfriend though, I offer you the bunny slope. But even those can have a few crevices to manuever around from the melt downs. It can be a bitch to dig yourself out of those sink holes. But still, it separates the lesser women from the ones that will actually hang with you through thick and thin.
Yes, this sporting event is hairy and scary and could actually be one of the sports that few ever finish. Fine by me. It keeps me from having to deal with the losers.
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention. I'm not a loser anymore. I'm an obstacle course.
Are you laughing yet?
Everything I need to know, I learned from Due South
1. A man with no future will always turn left.
2. A true friend will mortgage his house to post your bail.
3. All suspects are guilty of something.
4. Always say "Thank You Kindly."
5. Be a poet on the inside.
6. Ten minutes, then burn the tam-o-shanter.
7. Don't judge. That leather-clad deviant could be an attorney.
8. Everyone has a line they won't cross over no matter what the consequences.
9. It's easier to believe you're in love than to accept that you're alone.
10. Life is not a Frank Capra movie.
11. Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide.
12. Listen, really listen, to those who love you.
13. Make the puffin face.
14. Never hit a kid because it doesn't teach him anything except when to duck.
15. One day you will be clean-shaven again.
16. Puberty changes people.
17. Show your teeth.
18. Sometimes all we need is that second chance, and that's the one thing we're never going to get.
19. There's nothing more frustrating than playing hide and seek with a deaf wolf.
20. There's red ships and green ships but no ships like partnership.
21. Try to make it fly.
22. What you think is the only thing that matters.
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
_____________________________
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You dont always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
Vagina
Management 
ME ~ Provocative!
