ok to be fair... I am also putting these up...
Women’s Rules for Men
I. Primary Rules
1.The female always makes The Rules.
2.The Rules are subject to change without prior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all The Rules.
4.If the female suspects the male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
7.If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8.The female may change her mind at any time.
9.The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.
10.The female has every right to be angry and upset at any time.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12.The male is expected to mind read at all times.
13.The male who does not abide by The Rules cannot take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
14.Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
15.If the female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void.
16.The female is ready when she is ready.
17.The male must be ready at all times.
II. Secondary Rules
1.Call
2.Don't lie.
3.Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
4.If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5.The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes" and a pause is not good either.
6.Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
7.A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
8.None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed .
9.If her cooking is excellent, it still isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking unless you’re okay with being stuck with the dishes
10.Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.
11.Two words: clean socks.
12.Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
13.Burping is not sexy.
14.You're wrong.
15.Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it
16.She is not impressed by your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
17.Flowers are always good… unless you did something wrong then we need diamonds.
18."Will you marry me?" is good but better have a ring to go with that. "Let's shack up together" is bad.
19.Don't assume PMS is the cause for anything.
20.No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
21.Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive.
22.Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
23.Don't say “I love you” during sex or immediately after. Otherwise, say it often.
24.Think boxers….silk boxers.
25.Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she comes up with.
26.Don't try to change the way she dresses.
27.Her haircut is never bad.
28.Don't let your friends pick on her or ask her for a beer from the fridge.
29.Call.
30.Don't lie.
(just to name a few...lol)
