I give. That's it. Seriously. I've been a nice guy for far too long and I've been screwed over one time too many. I used to be a trash-talking asshole who got slapped every day for the fucked up things he said at random. I'd changed that because I wanted to see if being a nicer, more clean-cut individual would score me any points in the women department. I will say this. I was better off being the old me. I will be the old me again. I've been screwed over by too many women, had my heart trampled, been trapped in meaningless and unhealthy relationships... It's not worth it. Not by a long shot. Maybe there are women out there that are worth the change. Maybe there's a woman out there for me that I'll want to clean up my act for. Until I find her, I'm going to be the raunchiest asshole whore I can be. Why? Because the bitches that I've been involved with for the past few years are the type that give women as a whole a bad name. Save for a few friends who have helped me out o in the hardest situations I've ever been through... it seems the world has gone crazy. I appreciate my true friends for being there for me, and I hope that in my unique way I've been able to help you. I believe that my friends and family deserve the best of me. When it comes to the female species, I believe the same. However, since all I've met apart from a select few friends are seemingly stark raving mad... I honestly think that all the other sane women on the planet committed mass suicide and no longer exist as a species. It's possible that I could be wrong. The longer I live and the more I see, the more I am convinced that I am correct.
I'm not a bad person, I'm not a user or an abuser, dishonest, disloyal... is it honestly that hard for a man who only wants to be happy to find a woman who only wants the same? What makes so many women controlling and manipulative? what makes them callus and vindictive? What makes them self-centered and petty? I don't know, but I see so much of it, I'm sick of all this shit. I'd much rather be an asshole and offend everyone I meet than have to endure all the negative characteristics I see and am subjected to by the opposite sex. Maybe every woman I see has been damaged by some jerkoff and ruined permanently. Maybe their irrational behavior is some kind of defense mechanism to make sure their hearts don't get broken. Whatever the case, it makes men like me who actually give a shit want to stop doing so. It makes people like me believe that there's nothing out there but assholes and that if I don't join the club, I'm going to get my mind body and soul trampled on for the rest of my life. I tried both sides and honestly, I see more merit in being a horrible person. Am I wrong? I hope I am, but I see no proof to the contrary.
So, I will say this, and nothing more. I am about to shift back into a more primal and self-serving way of life because it seems to be the wiser and safer path. I dare you, defy you, implore you to prove me wrong. If someone can prove to me that being a fair human being is worth the attempt, I'll try it. So far... I've seen nothing to convince me. Nothing at all.
