Why is it that I always fuck everything up? I feel like I can't do anything right sometimes.... I am supposedly good at cooking and video games... Yet for some reason I can't even do those most of the time... I fuck them up. I try so hard to be a good boyfriend and lover... But yet again I suck at that too. I always end up getting jealous or angry about stuff that I guess shouldn't matter... Well for some reason these things matter to me and I can't shake them. I don't know how this is going to affect my life now but I can't change the way I feel about some things... I believe that if you are in a relationship then you give everything to it. You don't go to other people to get fulfillment. You should talk to your significant other and let them know what you need. Then that person will do their best to help you.... Am I wrong in this? Becasue that seems to be the way my relationships go... I try my hardest to make them happy but they always have to go to someone else to be happy... I am never enough. I hate myself almost everyday because I can't be everything that Julie needs.... She says I am fine but I don't feel like I am giving her what she needs... She talks to other people that seem to give her what she wants.... Yes I know... I am here they aren't.... Well I wonder if that is gonna change because I can't keep her happy... Why do I suck at life so bad? I just wanna curl up and die... I hate hurting her... I hate that I can't help her when other things are bothering her, she always goes to someone else to get any help she needs.... I am next to useless... All I want is to make her happy... And I can't seem to do that... Why? I can't figure it out... WHY?!?! 
