Ok, bare with me this is my 1st blog. I dont even know where to start. A few days ago I was the happiest woman I think I have ever been. I was in love, engaged to the most wonderful man alive, and moving on with my life! Then something happened...the war took his best friend and when that happened it took a hueg part of Bryan as well. I cant even begin to imagine what its like to lose someone in a war, to touch them one day, say bye to them as they go on a mission just to find out that hes not breathing anymore and that you wont be standing beside him at the gym in October anymore. Now I know, they signed up to fight, they signed up to do this shit, but no one expects to die! Not like that...not ever! Bryan is pushing me away, called off the engagement, called off us. I cant lose him...I dont want to lose him...he is my rock! when I met Bry, all my fears and lost hope went away. He seems to really get me, he knows the real me like no one else does. Have you ever met that one person who can just look at you...even if its on a webcam,lol, and they can know what you are thinking? I have, I met him and I took him as soon as he het me in his heart and I thought we were never going to be apart. Everything about us is the same...even down to candy, cake..hell our furniture is tha same..and we ahve never even seen each others homes. He is pushing me away, he is grieving and I dont know how to help him. I lost my Momma, my Grandmother, my best friend growing up and several others in my life..but nothing like this....I dont want to lose him but I think its already too late. I just dont know what to do anymore and I am slowly slipping away...back to the depths of that ugly depression he found me in and very bravely drug me back from. Bryan if you read this....please know I love you and I still want to be your wife...I will be here for you when you have dealt with whatever demons it is you are dealing with.....I miss you so much, and I dont want you to do this alone....I am here..Im not going anywhere, Nief Kocham Was..
