Do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you
say there are four billion stars, but check
when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his
chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there
still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble
bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not
on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that something
new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string
a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give the vacuum one
more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from
the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those
enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and
someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why
do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all
right, so why don't we say, "That hurt,
you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to
catch something that's falling off the table
you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house
as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out
of every four persons is suffering from
some sort of mental illness. Think of your
three best friends -- if they're okay, then
it's you.
