We all have this, and it doesn't matter if one person is older, younger, more intelligent, stronger emotionally, wiser, or even just more experienced. We all have our expectations on how the relationship we are in should be like. No matter what type of relationship we would like to have it takes a lot of hard work and determination. The real problems start probably for the most part after the first 4 months of a relationship. In the first 4 months usually everybody is on there best behavior trying to impress the other person do whatever they can to make them happy. Thinking they don't want to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. Then after the four months everything changes. For some reason people tend to think that it is there primary duty, no there obligation, or even just a need to mold the other person into the perfect person and how they want them to be. They never accept the other person for who or how they are. I mean why would they, there is nothing wrong with themselves because they are perfect in every way I am sure the other persons feels exactly the same way. To be perfectly honest nobody in the would is perfect, we all have all faults whether people think so or not. When you decide to be in a relationship with someone it is a merger of both of you, it is not one-sided and both parties should treat each other as a team mate rather than someone to control or someone to follow. There are two main factors of what to look for when looking for someone to be in a relationship with. The first is they should have complete and total honesty and by that I mean complete and total honesty. There is no gray area when it comes to this period!. If you can not communicate and tell your significant other the complete truth. How can you possibly expect to build a long warm loving relationship when the other person is constantly analyzing and questioning every possible thing you do or say. People tend to think there is a difference between telling small lies or big ones. They sometimes are afraid to not tell the truth because it might hurt the other persons feelings. Lying to prevent hurting someone's feelings, usually tends to hurt even worst because now the other person feels, you don't trust them enough to to talk to them when something is going on. Thinking that nobody with ever find out about a lie will just hurt your own self and in the long run this will just keep on building and building inside of you until you explode, and for what because you did not have faith in the strength of the relationship, and besides the truth eventually will come out. The longer times passes the more hurtful the lie will become. Telling someone the truth can never hurt someone's feelings, it is what is behind the truth and how it is said that hurts someone's feelings. If perhaps if you were thinking about doing something that is wrong and you feel the other person will get mad, here is a thought don't do it. If you perhaps did something wrong and you truly love or care about the other person and the other person can see this and they feel this from you because the relationship is strong. Then they will know that you are being honest and what you are saying is with love and caring we are all capable of making mistakes sometimes things happen. But the one you care for should always deserve the truth period. I have always been a firm believer in that if you ask a question then you should get the truth even if it might not be what you want hear. If you don't want to hear the truth then don't ask the question. But then again if something is bothering you then you should speak your mind. The second reason on what to look for in someone to be in a relationship in with .The basics - this is that the other person fits your lifestyle and that there is some sort of compatibility in areas such as personality, goals, interests, including emotional and physical openness. which is a definite must not necessarily activities but mutual goals and traits of what you are looking for. These are what are needed to build a foundation on what the relationship should be based on. Team work is something that needs to have a combination of all the above. People need to be honest with each other and themselves. They need to sit down and talk to one another find out what is bothering the other person or what they can do to make the other person happier. People in general for the most part bottle up everything inside and are just in bad moods all the times because something is upsetting them about you or something you do. But in reality how is the other person supposed to no what is bothering you and what they can do to correct the problem if they don't know what the problem is. People think things that bother people should be obvious and one should no why something would get a person upset or angry. But no one is a mind reader what might be obvious to you might not be obvious to the other person. I have often heard people say that when they come home either the woman just complains to the man about something the man did to piss her off, or the man complains to the women about something they did that pisses them off. Whichever way occurs. People need to step back and think to themselves is this in the best interest for the relationship or is this in the best interest for themselves. Not only this but can the other person doing the complaining honestly say to themselves that they are contributing beneficially to the relationship or are just a drain to the relationship. How is this person doing such a better job than the other person that gives them the right to belittle the other person by disrespecting them. You often hear sometimes that guys and girls treat the other person like a kid because the other person is acting like a kid and in this case send this person home with mommy and daddy and be done with it. People need to be adult, if they want to be in a relationship. Sit down with the other person and rationally talk out your problems in a normal tone of voice don't shout keep an open line of communication going at all times. It something gets you upset take a moment and step away perhaps be by yourself for a bit and think on what you are upset about usually you will find it is not such a big deal as it was 30 minutes ago.
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