Okay, I understand I made the choice of not being with the father of my kids! Shit #1 I left when he wasn't home & left a dear John letter. I am fine with that we are not together! I love him for giving me my son, but I am not in love with him #2 I threw his sorry ass down the stairs after he tried to kick me in my belly when I was 3 weeks pregnant! I dare him to darken my doorstep! I will throw him down a bigger set of stairs. #3 he is around, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him & his drama!
What kills me is that my kids aren't babies anymore & they ask questions! They want to see their father in the bright white light, but they don't realize that it's me! I am the 1 who fixes the boo boo's, the 1 who is up when they are sick, I am the 1 who is here 24/7/365. But, I am just the mean mom who grounds them for being bad, or yells at them for fighting, or whatever I do I am the "BAD GUY"!
DADDY #1: Things are starting to change, my son is 10 & sees thing for himself now & is feeling things he has not felt before. His dad has a "PAGE" & he is hurt that he has strangers on it & all these vacation pics, but only a few things of the kids he claims to be his. You see I was in jail a few years back & my son asked his father to be his brother's "PRETEND" Daddy because he didn't have 1. My "EX" said yes & basically took my little 1 under his wing. Cool! For the boy's it was cool. Well, thing are not so cool for them anymore. They are angry with him! They tell me they don't want him around! They hate him . But, when he was around he was "GOD'S GIFT TO EARTH". As soon as he wasn't in the picture, he was back to being a bad dad.
DADDY # 2: He could be dead for all I care! He tried to kick my twin boy's out of me so that he didn't have to take responsibility of his part of making them. So u see even if I knew where he was or knew how to get a hold of him I woouldn't even make the effort. I have told my son about him having his special dad & a real dad, but his special dad was the only 1 that counts!
DADDY # 3" He is worthless! He lives maybe 20 minutes away & can go months without seeing the kids! I can call him or text him right before I am putting the kids to bed & he was like oh I was busy! I shouldn't be surprized though... he walked out on his 2 older kids & actually gave his 2nd born child up for adoption durring the court date of me getting custody of the little boy we have together! So yeah he is a real good dad! Actually he is identical to his father & that is bad! I hate both of them!
So what do I do? I just roll with the punches. I just know I have to be the best mom I can & someday they kids will realize I am not a bad mom, I am just a mom doing my best. Yes, I yell! Yes, I have a temper! But they have what they need & even stuff kids their age could only dream of having. So we will go with the flow & hope they will realize life is not always peaches & cream, but it is not as bas as they think!
Okay, now that I am done venting, I am going to go make dinner
