I found this again when going through old PC Gamers. This is from May 1997. Back during the Tie Fighter vs X-Wing big days hehe.
Why we fly for the Empire
As we eagerly await our copies of X-wing vs. TIE Fighter, we've had a heated debate as to which side our team will fly when we take on all comers and reduce them to salvage. The consensus is we'll be suiting up for the Galactic Empire - and here's our reasons why.
(I've got a bad feeling about this...)
° Vader is your Co-Pilot: We think a guy who can strangle people over a videophone is someone who ought to be watching out six.
° Ship names that don't just rattle off the alphabet (A-wing, B-wing, X-wing, Y-wing...)
° When confronted with bad news, Imperial Navy Officers don't whine "Nooo!" and then jump down bottomless shafts.
° Our Bespin Cloud miners don't pitch Colt 45 on the side.
° Darth Vader's Imperial announcements have the same soothing, reassuring tone as that guy from CNN.
° White armor shows all the dirt, making dress inspections a snap.
° Even after you bump your head on low-hanging shuttle bay doors, you can still shoot your blasters and miss wildly with the best of them.
° Solar Panels on TIE Fighter: Like the good custodians of the galaxy that we are, Imperial craft are equipped with energy-efficient solar panels. Take that, you fossil fuel-burning Rebel scum!
° No Stinkin' Shields: Real he-men don't pull nine G's around the Van Allen Belt all cuddled up in their shields. Those X-wings probably have seat belts too!
° "Greedo's Guide to Bounty Hunting" not in Imperial manual.
° Check out the Imperial Convenience Store: Yoda Pops, Chewie Tobacca, and Jawabreakers.
° 'Secret Order of the Emperor' tattoos impress cantina babes.
° No Ewoks.
° John Williams' "Imperial March" 'Nuf said!
