WetChickieCat's blog: "Why do I work for a shoe company"

Name of shoe company has been changed to protect the ....heck if I know who it will protect wow all I can say is wow I mean, I know there are all sorts of people in the world, but do the wealthy shoe-collecting women really need a Support Hot Line? hahahaha I can only imagine... "No ma'am, that's the right shoe - you're putting it on the wrong foot. Please work with me and follow my instructions. Remove the shoe from your left foot." "No, you may leave your pantyhose on." "Let me know when we are ready to proceed." "You're ready? So now the shoe is removed from the left foot?" "No?" "Oh, so you're ready to proceed with removing the shoe from your left foot - I see. Ok then." "Yes, please proceed and let me know when you have the shoe removed." "Excellent." "What's that?" "No ma'am, I don't know how that runner got there." "No ma'am, our shoes don't generally cause runners just by slipping them on and off." "In your backyard?" "Yes ma'am. That would probably cause it. Most brands of pantyhose won't be able to stand up to a rock garden." "Yes ma'am, I'm sure it was quite painful!" "Ok, so both feet are free and clear of any shoes now, right?" "No, it's fine - just go ahead and remove that shoe from your right foot. We'll start fresh with both feet completely shoeless." "Certainly, the pantyhose can remain on the right foot as well." "Okie, are we ready to proceed?" "Yes, you may proceed with removing the right shoe now. Please advise when it is removed." "Thank you. Now, take the two shoes and hold them up before you with the heels of the shoes facing away from you. I want you to hold the shoes so that you can see the toes pointing at you." "No ma'am, the toes of the shoes; not your toes." "Yes. Okie, can you see the toes?" "Yes ma'am, pedicures can work wonders, but I was referring to the toes of the shoes...are they pointed at you now?" "Ok, now slowly rotate the shoes upward so that you are viewing the bottom of the shoes." "Yes, both together at the same time." "Ok, now if you look closely you'll see that one shoe is shaped exactly opposite to the other shoe." "No, there really is a difference. Look closely and you should notice it." "Exactly, that curve on the inside edge is one of the main differences. It will correspond to the curve on the appropriate foot." "If you are trying to place the shoe on the wrong foot, part of the cause of the discomfort is that curve is not conforming to the curve of your instep." "No ma'am, the instep is that curve on the inside of your foot." "Both feet, ma'am." "Yes, they are different - the curves in the feet are opposite one another just like the curves in the shoes. Exactly, so now you can see why having the wrong shoe on a given foot can cause some serious discomfort." "So let's get these shoes on the right feet now. Place the shoes down on the floor in front of you and look down at them. Take the shoe with the instep curving to the right - that shoe will go on your right foot." "To the right." "The left side of the right shoe will have that curve and the middle of the curve will be farther to the right than the top and bottom of the curve." "Yes ma'am, that is correct. Did you place the shoes on the floor yet?" "Okay, let me know when you have the shoes on the floor. You may proceed." "Alright, now do you see the curve I'm speaking of?" "Perfect! Do you have a permanent marker handy? A Sharpie perhaps?" "Yes ma'am, a Marks-a-Lot will work just fine." "Okie, so with the shoes on the floor and the instep curves clearly visible you should be able to distinguish which shoe goes on which foot." "No ma'am, please place them on the floor so they are resting in the normal position, with the bottoms facing down. We no longer need to view the bottom of the shoes. We want to see them from above now." "Yes ma'am, I know you are above the shoes; what I mean to say is that you should be viewing the tops of the shoes. Please advise when you are ready to proceed." "Excellent, so now that you can see the tops of the shoes, I'd like for you to - " "Oh, yes ma'am, so you are ready to proceed with turning over the shoes. Excellent. Please let me know when they are turned over and we can move on to the next phase." "Ok, now looking at the shoes from this vantage point, you should be able to see the instep curve on both shoes." "Great! You're doing fine! Now with the shoes side-by-side, the insteps should be pressed together. If they are on opposite sides of the shoes, then we're going to have to switch positions with the shoes." "Ok, let's go ahead and swap positions. Please advise when you are ready to proceed." "Terrific, now that.." "Yes ma'am, you may proceed with swapping positons with the shoes." "Ok, so now you've picked up each shoe and swapped it with it's partner?" "No ma'am, I didn't mean I wanted you to swap places with the shoes; I simply wanted you to take one shoe and move it to the other side of the other shoe. Right, so now the shoes should still be together, but in the reverse position than what they were in a minute ago." "Yes, that sounds perfect. Now, let's get them a little test run. I'd like for you to take your right foot and slip it into the shoe on the right." "Yes ma'am, I'm sure it will fit; it should just slide right in." "Really? Can you describe the nature of the difficulty? I see. I'd like for you to return to the other side of the shoes...back where you were standing when we started." "Yes, please leave the shoes in the position they are in right now. I'd simply like for you to walk around them to the other side. Please advise when you - go ahead and walk around the shoes now." "Yes ma'am, right now." "This very instant. Now. Go." "Excellent! Now let's try slipping your right foot into the shoe on your right." "Sounds like you were able to accomplish that without too much discomfort - how does it feel?" "I agree, wearing one shoe and leaving the other foot barefoot does feel a little odd. I was asking more how just that one foot felt?" "No ma'am, the right foot." "Yes, the foot with the shoe on it." "Terrific! We're halfway there! Now let's go ahead and try slipping your left foot into the left shoe." "It may make the runner worse, but there's not much you can do at this point for that, so we should really focus just on the shoes." "Yes ma'am - I'll wait." "I'm sorry? Colored what?" "Oh, well my bride always uses clear polish to stop her runners, but I don't see any reason why DirtySlut Red won't work." "That's fine, I don't mind waiting. Go right ahead and let me know when you're - when the polish is dry and you are ready to try slipping into the last remaining shoe." "The weather is very nice here today." "No ma'am, I do not work from home. I'm in a call center in Vietnam." "Well, Jon is just my English name - my real name is Chu Phat Kow." "Thank you, I work very hard to make my English understandable." "Just like a real American, eh? My parents would be very proud to hear that." "How is the nail polish coming along?" "Oh, well you should probably go ahead and pause on your fingernails since we need to finish addressing your shoe issue for you." "Great...is the polish dry on the pantyhose now?" "Terrific, now let's go ahead and try slipping on that last shoe." "That's correct, onto the foot that doesn't have a shoe on it yet, yes ma'am." "How does that feel?" "One often experiences the sensation of being taller after stepping into a pair of shoes, so that is normal. More importantly, how do your feet feel?" "Are you experiencing any discomfort?" "Right, just with regard to your feet." "Great! Now we're ready for the final step. Let's leave the shoes on as they are now, but I'd like for you to take a seat." "No ma'am - just sit down. There's no need to move anywhere else." "Well, yes - it would be best if you walked to a chair first. Don't sit on the floor. Please let me know when you are ready to - when you are seated." "Perfect! Now, lifting one foot at a time, I'd like you to raise your foot up to your lap so that you can view the bottom of your shoe." "Either side - you may pick whichever one will.. so let's start with the left shoe. Raise your left foot up to your lap." "Can you see the bottom of that shoe now?" "Ok, now take your Marks-a-Lot and..." "Yes, I'll wait. Let me know when you have the Marks-a-Lot again and are reseated with your left foot in your lap with the shoe still on." "Welcome back." "Yes ma'am, the left shoe on your left foot." "That's right." "Now using the Marks-a-Lot, let's write the word LEFT on the bottom of that shoe, just in front of the heel." "No, on bottom so it isn't visible to other people." "Correct." "Ok, now return that foot to the floor. Next we're going to do the same to the other shoe." "Yes ma'am, that's right! So let's raise your right foot up into your lap." "Yes, please keep the shoe on your foot." "Wonderful. Now we'll simply label this shoe just like we did the other one." "No ma'am, you should have written "RIGHT" on this shoe." "I realize it's confusing and I'm trying very hard to take the confusion out of it for you." "That's fine. We can still make this work." "Sure, it's my pleasure. Now, where you accidently wrote the word "LEFT" on the right show, I'd like for you to right "THE OTHER" just above the word "LEFT". Right! You're getting a handle on this now! We are so close to wrapping it up. Bear with me and we'll have you all set in no time." "Okay, so you can return both feet to the ground now." "No, please don't remove the shoes just yet. I'd like to ensure that everything is correct now before we wrap up this call, so I'd like for you to take a test walk in the shoes at this time." "Are you experiencing any discomfort at all?" "No ma'am, just with regard to your feet and your shoes." "I see. No, that's fine. Sometimes nail polish can dry into your leg hairs like that. You should be okay when you remove the pantyhose." "No ma'am, I would expect it will extract the hairs from your leg when you do so." "Yes ma'am, you will probably have to shave your legs now." "I'm sorry ma'am, I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I should have asked if your legs were shaved or not prior to you applying the nail polish to the runner." "No ma'am, we don't support pantyhose issues here at Shoe Support. Our services are strictly limited to Shoe Issues. You'll have to speak with Hosiery Support about that ma'am." "That's right. Ok, now after the test walk do the shoes feel comfortable for you?" "Wonderful!" "I'm sorry?" "No ma'am, unfortunately I won't be able to walk you through the process for your other 300 pairs of shoes." "No ma'am, we're only allowed to offer support just for the shoes that were purchased from us. They don't permit us to offer any sort of assistance on shoes from other sources as we have no control over what goes into those shoes and our systems don't have any pertinent information about the other brands." "That's right. If you'd like I'm sure you can find contact information for those vendors either online or in your local telephone book." "Great! Is there anything else I might be able to assist you with today?" "I would broil that on low for at least 20 minutes longer" "Yes ma'am." "Wonderful! Well, it has been my pleasure to assist you today. If you have any further issues or if there is anything else we can help you with please don't hesitate to give us a call." "Thank you as well. Have a terrific day and we genuinely appreciate your business here at Eight East" "Sure! Let me transfer you to our accounting department for assistance with that." "It's been my genuine pleasure! Thanks again and have a great one!"