im sick of being there for people and worrying about them. I feel almost disrespected... I dont know what to think, say or do. Its in my nature to be there for my friends but its wearing on me when i dont know whats going on. I try so hard to make everyone happy and all it seems to do is make me unhappy. I dont think thats very fair at all.
OK so its not really about helping people and all that.... its just ive been so stressed about everything in my life and its been so hard to deal with other people when i feel so miserable myself. I cant explain it, all i kno is ive been a real jerk to some people lately and i cant explain it.
I just wish things were easier.. AHH i dont kno how many times ive said that but i do wish that with all my heart. I wish i knew what was going on. I wish i knew what to do about everything. I wish i could make everyone happy. *sigh* but most of all i wish i could do everything right.. be the person everyone wants me to be, because i hate disappointing people.
I feel so low right now because the few people i wanna talk to right now either arent answering or are in jail or are sleeping. I know that i can call some special friends but i would rather not bother them right now... I dont want to burden others with my problems. Im the friend that fixes theirs or at least makes them feel better. i duno.. im goin to stop thinking and veg out infront of my movies for now.... maybe its best this way....
