I just need to vent for a minute......
I have been with my "Hubby" for 3yrs now we seperated and got back together after 4 months of being apart........
I have tried my best to keep my chin up and take all the bad with what was once good. And some times I just keep asking myself why do I keep trying. I has been rough since we got back together, I mean with all the new emotions and anger and hurt and all. I mean I know we love each other but yet and still Sometimes I feel like its one sided. And he tells me the same thing. Sometimes he is such a jerk and hurts my feelings so bad and he acts like he dont care. And I just dont know how to take it any more. Its been six of the longest months I have ever had since we got back together. And it seems like all I do is cry and then I get angry at myself for doing that. Yet I know I love him because I have been married before and when I left there was never any looking back. And when I left all I have wanted was to be back. Mind you we live in our own places right now so we are not together always and I think that this is apart of the problem but I want to show him that I wanted him not need him. I am supporting myself and occassional he will help with something but only because he wants too not because I have asked.
SO now I know I can make it on my own. But thats just it. I dont wanna be alone I can not picture my life with out him apart of it. All our hopes and dreams. I dont want to be without him.
Yet in still right now I find myself so mad at him for being a JERK. and he has been this way for a while....it gets better and then something just sets him back to Jerk mode again.
I am at a cross roads in my life. I dont know what I should do....go straight and try and continue to work out all our kinks and differences or take a turn and be alone and do it all by myself?
I know this is very personal and I am sorry I just need to vent for a minute......
If you have any suggestions or kind comments please leave them for me. I would be nice for a minute.
Thanks,
ME
