I just feel like complaining today. Men can be such jerks and idiots. You give a man the very best life he could ever ask for and they think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I am so pissed right now, but not sure who I am more mad at, myself for letting the butthead in my life and my families life or at him for treating me like I was nothing to him. If he truely did care like he acted like he did this man deserves a damn award of some kind. To look at me in the eye and tell me that he loved me with all his heart and he would never leave me, then less than 8 hours later he up and disappears in the night and thats its, no good bye, no kiss my butt no nothing. I am hurt, pissed, and confused. I keep bouncing back and forth between these 3 feelings. I always say, "Love like you aint gonna get hurt", but I am starting to think that is the wrong saying to live by. If you love like you aint gonna get hurt it makes you vulnerable and out there with no defense and I think men have a radar saying "BeepBeepBeep" There is one I can destroy!" I still believe that everyone has a soulmate out there somewhere for them, but why in the heck is it so damn hard to find them?!?!?! Maybe its so we will love unconditionally once we find them or so that we know that we have the best after dealing with the rest? I dont know, I dont think anyone really knows. I always thought it would be awsome to be with my soulmate and celebrate our 50th or even 60th wedding anniversary. At the rate things are going, I will never see that mild stone and that is a damn shame. Whose fault is it? Mine, for making poor choices in men? I dont think so. I know God has put us here on earth for a reason and has also put a soul mate here for us too. What dont kill us will make us stronger and wiser, so maybe I am still learning lessons so I know what to do once I find my soul mate. Guess we will see....the saga still goes on............. Carrie
