i am kind, sweet, loving and i have alot of compassion for others.. i am smart and wel rounded.. haha im full of life and passion.. i am artistic in art and in music.. i am me blod yet shy.. smart but act stupid some times.. joyfull but with a saden heavy soul.. lougd but quite.. strong but weak.. im a smile that lights a room just the one that can hide in the shadows.. i am many things.. my heart is the thing i live in.. i take it with me with every step.. my heart stays hurt.. seeming never to be fixed.. i am me cause of the things that have came to my life. my heart is my grandparents.. i am this person cause of them.. my pain came with me as i live this world.. always helping other but can never help my self.. i have loved many.. yet only a handfull keep my heart.. yet time and time. i get hurt.. yet time and time ppl like to hurt me cause im good or casue of my looks.. an all i see in that mirrow now.. is just a silly girl.cute yet misticel.. my eyes are the window to my soul.. they tell all.. show all.. if you look you can see my true feeling.. if i have told you i love you.. i mean it.. if i tell you its a forever love i can't break from i mean it.. an only one has been told that.. now where is he.. not here left again.. he comes and goes from time to time.. never saying goodbye.. just walks away.. to here i sit in tears wondering y not stay with me.. is all that i am wrong.. to be strong in my sexual being.. to be strong in my mind and feels.. to know how i feel and not question my view on it.. is it wrong to be there no matter what.. to always be a good friend to some one.. is it wrong to wait for them.. my grandparents had a good love yet tough like all.. but you could see in there eyes they loved one another.. i wonder being she has just left.. how she could leave and not be scared to go.. to not have to worrie about seeing our father and her man there waiting for her.. she has such faith to do this.. yet i am scared to leave.. scared to leave with out that love that was forever.. will i have it i hope one day.. maybe god will grant me the right to be happy more then i am.. to love some one that loves me for me.. just like my granddad love her as she was.. i am her yet she found hers.. now let me have mine.. my heart is breaking cause you are not here.. you are but your not.. and all i want is you.. my heart says so ..
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wrote in dec of 06
