Kris's blog: "Love, Life, and then some"

When I look in his eyes, I see someone who I'm not sure if anyone else knows exists.

When I look in his eyes, I see someone who has a big heart.

When I look in his eyes I see someone who I want in my life.

When I look in his eyes I feel safe.

When I look in his eyes, I know I can trust him with my life.

When I look in his eyes, I see someone who is dealing with a lot of pain.

When I look in his eyes, I fear that he does not see himself for the amazing person he truly is.

When I look in his eyes, I want to fix everything for him and make his life perfect.

When I look in his eyes, I see someone who has been hurt so much he is afraid to let anyone else in. 

When I lay in his arms, I feel at home.

When I lay in his arms, I feel comforted.

When I lay in his arms, my past doesn't matter so much.

When I lay in his arms, all the pain this world has caused me disappears.

When I lay in his arms, I don't want that moment to end.

When I lay in his arms, my biggest worries and fears no longer exist.

It's so hard to believe that someone who moves me this much is dealing with so much pain right now. It's so hard to believe that anyone would intentionally hurt him. It's so hard to believe that there is nothing I can do to help. All I ever want to do for anyone is improve their life, help them with things they are struggling with, and be there to celebrate and enjoy the successes with. I would do almost anything for anyone of my friends, and this is especially true for the man I am currently writing about. I worry so much that he doesn't know how important he is, and that he doesn't see how amazing of a person he truly is. 

Things happen to us sometimes that make us forget who we truly are.

These things make us forget what our soul is really capable of.

These things make us forget all of the good things we have done in life.

These things make us only focus on the bad.

These things make us loose sight of all of the little things that make life great.

The clouds above seem so dark, and endless in sight. It's hard to see the blue sky on the horizon, but if we look close enough, carefully enough, it is there. Even though it seems as though the thunder and lighting will never end, and it seems as though the bolts are getting so close to stricking us and ending life, we have to remember, everything happens for a reason. I know it's not an easy thought to comprehend, but ultimately, it is the truth. 

To the man I am writing this about/for:

You are amazing. Never forget it. You put those you love and care for ahead of you, and you work so hard to provide them with happiness. This will pay off in the end, even if it seems there is no end in sight. It is getting closer. Keep your head up. Even though you have dealt with a lot in your short time on this planet, you have achieved so much. You have fought for your Country, you have fought for those you love, and you continue to fight for the one person who means the world to you. Seeing you do this is truly amazing. I know so many people who would just give up. But that's not who you are. You won't give up. Even when it's bringing you down to your knees, making you cry, you find the energy and courage to face what is in front of you, and you go for it. You deal with it. You do what you have to do. You are an amazing father. Never forget that. No matter what anyone says, you know the truth.

You have shown me that there are still good people in this world, there are still people who will go through anything for those they care about the most. I had given up on 'human kind' before I met you. You have given me hope, and when I feel like I can't go on, I know all I have to do is tell you I feel as though I can't do it, and you are there to push me through. You might not realize the effect you've had on my life, but it's a pretty big effect, and I want you to know this. I know I have put you through a lot, (and you have put me through a lot too :P) but I fight every day to change who I am in order to be a better person, and a better friend for you. I know I freak out, I know I say things I don't mean... those are the times where the "old me" peak through, and I am trying to get rid of that me... and you have been there to help me through it, whether it's to duke it out with me, or whether its to say "Kris, stop, you're starting to freak out again." I cannot express in words how grateful I am for that, or how grateful I am that you are in my life. In the past, whenever I have shown someone my fears and insecurities, they have ran. Not you though. You've been there to help me fight through it and to fight through the bad memories and overcome obsticals that I thought I would never be able to overcome. My grades in school have increased significantly since you came along. You have opened my eyes and made me realize that there actually is a brain in my head! You have made me realize that I can get through school, and that I will be better in the end because of it. You have also given me the opportunity to learn more about what I want in life, and who I want to spend it with, and what qualities I want that person to have. 

I know things are really rough right now, but they will get better. I promise! I know I say this to you all the time, but it's because I truly believe it. I see the fighter in you and I know you will not give up, and it's because of that that you will reap the benefits, and the time for those benefits is fast approaching. I will be by your side, supporting you, being there for you to talk to, being there for you to ignore, being there to be a sounding board when you finally open up and talk about what's going on. I will be there every step of the way, if that is what you want. I cannot even imagine what it's like to deal with what you've been dealing with, but I can promise to try to understand, and I can promise that I am never more than a phone call, or message away.

Lub you always.