We all make mistakes in our lives,some more than others but we live & learn pick ourselves up after wallowing in self pity & get on with life..
There comes a time when you can take no more,& are pushed to the limits n beyond so far that you start to wonder if there's any point in carrying on cos you know there's something awaiting around the next corner waiting for you to trip..
Let me start by telling you abit about myself so hopefully whoever reads this(if it's read!) will understand where i'm coming from..
My life started in West Germany in a place called Rhinteln,my father was in the army & was drafted there for three n ahalf years.
My earliest childhood memory wasn't a nice one to say the least.I was almost 3years old,my friend & I were playing with our dolls,as you do & started to wash dollys clothes etc,then it came to teatime & in we went to our own homes.Knock knock on the door there was my friend with her mum crying she had lost a pair of dolls pants.Off we went to see if we could find them but no joy,checked all my dolls stuff to see if they were in there still no joy.My friend n her mum went back home.The front door shut & mother turned to me & asked if I had them ?"No I said"I avent got them"The next thing I remember is her hand swiping my face.Screaming with the pain n then I saw the blood.My lip had split open,Dad had coming rushing through the door & seen the state of me"she had tried to tell my father I had fallen!!The hand mark still on my face he yelled @ her to get out,but I knew she'd be back that was the first of many beatings,starvings,deprivations etc..What a memory & a first one @ that!!(where was social services then!!)A year n abit later my sister was born my Gran came over to look after me It was one of the best times IN MY LIFE.I loved my Gran she was my best friend,Mum & Gran all in one..
As I got older I was getting used to it,but I had the freedom of going to school which I loved.I kept myself to myself & studied hard,read lots of books & drew arty pics etc..
I'd get home from school she would be on the sofa out of her head with drink pills & a fag hanging out her mouth..It was routine to me I'd tidy up & start cooking tea for my sister n me.
She was the lucky one never got hit or ought cos she was born special(weighing in at 3lbs 7oz)she didnt have auburn curly hair n freckles on her face,that was to be my omen....Tbc..
