If the world was to have a horrific tragedy where the only person to survive was me I could make it without a problem. You on the other hand would succumb to the voices in your head because of the lack of communication that you so desperately need and base your existence on. I use to have a lot of friends but now have none. I never thought that could happen to me, but it did. See I realized when I was sitting around that unlike you I can be alone. I don’t like to but for the past 5 years it’s been that way and I’ve learned how to deal with it. You need constant attention and things to occupy your mind because you’re just scared of being in solitude. It was hard to deal with at first but what I realized is that when people call me or want to do something is when they are feeling obligated or lonely and need someone to fill the silence in their souls that is making the go mad. Rather then sitting back and reflecting on how they could better themselves or their life they’d rather sit around and be bored with me because at least then they’re not alone. What they fail to realize is that they still are because like the other night when you couldn’t return a call or invite me to do something because I may slow you down or inhibit your fun in some way I feel the same when you come by with your visits. I mean I may not see well but I’m not blind. So when you leave you feel like you did your good dead for the month and your charitable cause will not go unnoticed in the big scheme of life and you’ll probably brag to your friends about how you have a impaired friend that you spend time with and refer to how much fun I use to be but now am just a bump on a log. The funny thing in all this is you don’t realize that it’s you inside that are lonely and empty and you come by when you’re alone because that is what you’re scared of. I sat for 2 years by myself as the voices in my head kept getting louder and louder until they were shrieks and screams of a desperate soul going mad with nobody around to hear them. Then one day the screams became whispers when I realized that me being alone and having to occupy my time by whatever it is I choose to do that day wasn’t so bad because it had harden me a bit and made me be able to appreciate the times I do feel happy and have good times probably more so than you’ll ever be able to understand. So the next time your bored, feeling, charitable, or alone don’t bother calling to see what I’m doing because I probably won’t answer. Sit back and listen to the voices in your head. Are they screams or whispers?
