Dynimite's blog: "Tips about Realationships"

Where To Meet Women, How To Approach Them Current mood: tired -------------------------------------------------- To safely and permanently exclude yourself from future mailings just click the link at the end of this newsletter. To sign yourself up for this complimentary e-letter, visit www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com -------------------------------------------------- >If you'd like to learn how to become a MASTER of approaching women, starting conversations... and turning those conversations into DATES... then take a minute and read THIS: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/ApproachingWomen/ ***QUESTION*** Hey Dave! Your material is phenomenal! I've always been C&F, but struggled with my ability to approach women I didn't know. That dam fear of rejection ran deep. Well, after reading your book and specifically, the example of your friend who went to the mall just started approaching women and introducing himself until he drove the fear out, I decided to take a similar approach. Whenever I saw a women I thought was HOT, (at the bar, restaurant, library, or pretty much anywhere) well, that feeling in my stomach would begin. So, keeping your teaching in mind, I took a quick breath, envisioned myself being successful and moved in with the following "line". "Hi! My name is J- and I'm performing an exercise to eliminate the fear of approaching women whom I find attractive." "Thanks for participating!" I do that with a completely serious facial expression and an extended handshake. Then end with a Sly smile and simply go on my way. Well, 70% of the time I get turned right back around by them and end up walking off triumphantly with an email or phone number in my pocket. For the times I don't get turned RIGHT back around, I catch them staring me down from across the room/bar/wherever I am and I just make my way back over there when I'm good and ready. Ok, my question is: I've been dating a lot of different girls. I am usually able to determine if I would like to make things last with them within the first two dates. My problem is with the girls whom I just wish to be friends with or even just put behind me, how do I let them down easy? I don't want to be a jerk or burn any bridges, but how do I get them to STOP friggin' calling ME! This is especially difficult after being intimate with a woman. Some pointers and examples of tact in this situation would be greatly appreciated! HOW DO I TURN IT OFF, DAVE? J.D.M. 26 - Chicago >>>MY COMMENTS: Yeah, wow... you sure are in a tough spot. Sorry to hear about your dilemma. First off, great job getting out there and DOING SOMETHING about your fear of rejection. I'm glad I could be a part of it. Now, for your situation with too many women calling you... The issue here is an EMOTIONAL issue. If you do certain things and communicate in a certain way, you will trigger ATTRACTION in a woman. If you trigger ATTRACTION, you will be far more likely to be in control of the situation (and you're more likely to be successful with women in general). Now, just like you can trigger that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION with your communication and body language, you can also trigger OTHER emotions as well. And one of these emotions, for lack of a better term, is called LOVE. Now, I don't want to get into a philosophical discussion of what "love is", and how long it takes to feel "true love" for another person... But I will say that the "beginnings" of love can be observed and described. Have you seen any episodes of the bizarre T.V. show "The Bachelor"? You'll notice that several of the women have said things like "I am starting to have feelings for him"? When they say this, they're talking about something OTHER than just ATTRACTION. In a nutshell, I'll just say that if you ACT like a guy that wants a woman to LOVE you, then it will often HAPPEN. This includes: - Calling and seeing a woman too often - Acting like a "boyfriend" - "Courting" a woman actively If you don't want a woman to get those "feelings", then don't call or see her more than once or twice a week. Don't act like her boyfriend. And don't "COURT" HER! There's nothing wrong with going out with a woman a few times, then not wanting to see her again. The problems come when you ACT like you want something MORE from a woman, and then she starts to see you in a different way and have FEELINGS for you. There's something called an "implied social contract". This is when you do something in a way that "implies" something. If you do things that imply that you want to be her boyfriend or husband (like calling and seeing her all the time, paying tons of attention to her, courting her, etc.) then you are IMPLYING that you want her to have feelings for her. And she will. Solve this problem before it happens. Don't imply. ***QUESTION*** Okay, gettin the brown nosin' otta the way first, I love the strategies in the E-Book! It not only makes you a better date for ladies (I just had a girl I went out with the other night say literally "you were a much better date than most guys I've been out with... you're so much more interesting!") but it makes the date better for YOU as well! When I'm not worrying about "will she like me" "what does she want me to do" and "am I doin' the right thing here?" and just kick back and go with the flow doing and saying what I feel - I have a much better time myself! Just a lil' something that isn't as pointed out as 'getting lots of women.' I mean, I like going out with lots of girls too, but I guess I'm just an old fashioned guy who only wants to go out with lots to find that one really AWESOME chick - so these techniques let me just enjoy a girl I'm with a lot more because I don't have to act like I need her, I'm with her by choice, not restriction! So anyways, my question is where exactly can you find a larger base of chicks to "try out." Like I said, I'm kinda old fashioned and not a big bar/club scene guy, so most of the places I've met girls lately have been everyday spots (one at Wal- mart, one at the bookstore...) but there just arn't as many easy opportunites to meet ladies in these type places as at a flagrantly singles scene. Sure occasionally you get a find, but there has to be an untapped resource out there for us mellow guys. So you gotta let me know...is there? Thanks again - JLC from Florida >>>MY COMMENTS: You know, I personally believe that MOST guys actually want to find "a really awesome chick" eventually. But the fact is that you're going to have to date a lot of women to find that one REALLY AMAZING one. And I think that learning my techniques and using them with the women you're dating PREPARES you for that one special woman, once you find her. So WHERE IS THE SECRET "AMAZING CHICK" PLAYGROUND? Where can a "mellow" guy go to find the "untapped resource"? I have a few ideas for you... 1) The internet 2) Social gatherings 3) Unexpected "regular" places THE INTERNET The internet is AMAZING for "mellow" guys. Just think of it. You can place a personal ad, watch how women respond to it, then tweak it up and watch how the changes improve your response... and do it again and again. It takes a little bit of work, but I can't think of a better return on a few hours' investment. By the way, check out my Advanced Dating Techniques program for more tips on meeting women online. I do a whole segment on the topic, and I also interview one of my good friends who originally taught ME how to meet women online. I met my last girlfriend online... and she was a stunning 5'10" high-fashion model. My Advanced Series goes into all the details of how to do it. The internet is just getting better and better for meeting women... try it. SOCIAL GATHERINGS It's not hard to make friends. And if you make friends with the RIGHT people, you will be invited to all kinds of interesting social gatherings. Now, certain social groups tend to attract more cute women than others. I DON'T recommend the Star Trek convention, the Comic Book convention, or the Chess convention as starting points here - lol. Get into art. Or try yoga. Or take an acting class. Meet people. Invite the people you meet to other events that they would be interested in. Become a networker. Be the SOURCE for great information on a topic that beautiful women are also interested in. Again, this takes a little investment, but the rewards are often AMAZING. I can't express how well this works... so try it. UNEXPECTED "REGULAR" PLACES OK, check this out: There is a big "health food" market that's pretty close to my place. I went there about two weekends ago. I'd say that there was a total of about 20 people that I saw during my visit. AT LEAST 5 of them were HOT women. I probably saw more beautiful women in that one store in 10 minutes than I saw in the next 2 days. There are quite a few "unexpected regular places" like this one that are hot women MAGNETS. How do you find them? YOU HAVE TO GO LOOK. Go to your local mall at three different times over the next week. Go in for 30 minutes each time and just WALK AROUND. Try Noon on a Monday, then try Saturday at 4 PM, then try another weekday in the evening. You'll notice that ONE of those times is a LOT better than the others. Then try other places, and pay attention. There's a busy shopping area near where I live right now. It's REALLY busy on Friday and Saturday evenings. During the weekdays at around noon it's about one FIFTH as busy as it is on a Friday or Saturday night. But guess what? Weekday afternoons, even though it's not as busy, it's JAM PACKED with beautiful women. They're everywhere. But on Friday and Saturday nights there are hardly ANY great looking women, even though it's FAR busier and there are FAR more people around. Go figure. My point: YOU need to go find those places near you that are the best... and you need to find the best TIMES as well. This will pay off BIG TIME. So do it. ***QUESTION*** Hey David, Just wanted to let you and any of the other fellas out there - that your material definitely works. Initially, I just read the newsletters and started seeing more and more success. Including a girl within the same breath calling me incredibly chauvinistic and then hot about 5 seconds later. All cause I made a joke about cooking and cleaning. She even went on to say how my attitude only works on 99.9% of girls, but I'm missing out on the other .1%. To which I replied, "Are those .1% even hot?" On top of that, I recently messed up my knee playing basketball, and recently went out on crutches. Within the night, I ended up bumping into some chick, blaming it on her, and then pointing at my crutches and shrugging while waving her over from across the bar. She was eating it up! And despite having a boyfriend, has still given me her e-mail and number. Now I just gotta figure out when to call her. I see the same thing over and over again with my guy friends. The ones that act like wussies, suddenly have their girls telling them they just don't feel "it" for them. I've even had discussions with my girl friends and they even admit that they like it if the guy they're talking to has "options" and they're not the only girl around. Anyway, I'm also writing cause I have a question on how to handle girls, especially very hot ones that know they're way above average. Recently, a girl accused me of being "bad for their ego" and "unable to handle you" cause I don't sit there and tell her hot she is all the time. One of my girl friends claims you can only be difficult for so long, otherwise they'll find a guy who does give them that attention. But, I'm tending to think that you gotta stick with what got them into you in the first place. Any thoughts on this? Thanks man, and fellas get the book, it's worth the 10 times what you save with girls buying drinks for you! AA in NYC >>>MY COMMENTS: lol... yeah, women CLAIM a lot of things. I love it when I'm telling a woman about some of the things I teach, and she says "That would never work on me" etc. LOL! (That's short for DAMN FUNNY.) Look, stop getting advice from women on what will and won't work. Just DO what works. If you want to get advice from women, get FASHION advice. Women love to give it, and it's usually RIGHT ON. But when it comes to ATTRACTION, listen to WHAT WORKS. The LAST thing that a "very hot girl that's way above average" wants is a WUSS that chases her around and gives her all of his attention. If you doubt me, try it. Your thought of "stick with what worked in the first place" is right on. Do that. And don't get too excited because I'm making fun of women here. Men are even more clueless in most areas of ATTRACTION than women are. One of the places that most guys could use a LOT of help is this area that I call "Sexual Communication". It's the "secret" language of eye contact, gestures, and patterns of body language that can spark and amplify this ATTRACTION. If you need help in this area, then go and read THIS: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/SexualCommunication/ ***SUCCESS STORY*** David, Here's the thing. I love your e-book. I've read it and love it. I've used your techniques with a good amount of success. My favorite pastime is getting the interest of the girls around me. Regardless of age or whether or not I'm attracted to them. It's great practice and it's fun. I've even been around a girl who's with some friends of mine and she's getting hit on by a couple other guys and she's all focused on me and asking me for my info by the end of the night. It was never like this before. You are the man! That said, I'm soooo getting your advanced series. I can't wait to hear what's in there. -R >>>MY COMMENTS: Yeah, good idea. It will blow your mind, period. If you think you're having fun now, just wait 'till you learn some of the advanced stuff inside that program. I actually get emails from guys saying "David, I'm concerned about you teaching all of this stuff. It works so well, but too many guys are going to learn it, and it will spoil it for me..." It's that good. ***COMMENT*** [This is an excerpt from a previous Mailbag] The only women running around on this planet that "consider their emotions and respond intelligently" instead of "surrendering to her attraction against her better judgment" are your MOM and your SISTER (they're the only two women I can think of that are likely to be as stuck in their own HEADS as you). David, I am following your e-mails, have the e-book and the booklets. In one of the last threads you mentioned that your mother and sister are the exception. I disagree. I stopped arguing with my mother and used some "funny"-ness on her. As most of us know this woman for all our lives we see her as MOTHER. If you start thinking about the 'girl' inside of her you can tease her in a funny way and "REGRET" you are her son because there are ANCIENT rules, as you know. A sister is even more vulnerable to this behavior. It you tease your sister with cocky and funny lines she might start 'hitting you' back and she will start 'complaining' about such behavior to her girlfriends. And, guess what that can result in. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately think of a real life situation to give as an example. dk from London >>>MY COMMENTS: lol... Good one! But keep something in mind: I wasn't talking about just ANY mom and sis here. I was talking about THIS GUY'S mom and sis. I'll bet you a hundred bucks that his mother and sister were just as logical, cone-headed, and dorky as he is...soooo, I'm probably right. LOL! By the way, for the rest of us that have more "normal" (meaning only slightly neurotic) moms and sisters, it's GREAT FUN to practice on them. Just stop before you get to the physical stuff. Please. Thanks for the comment! ***QUESTION*** David, I know you hear this all day long, but your information is truly incredible. Just your newsletter alone has turned my dating life around and onto the right track. On to my question: I was recently introduced to this stunningly beautiful girl by one of my good friends. Immediately we hit it off really well together. She is a very cool person and I think she feels the same way about me. However, she *claims* to be lesbian. But only a few years before, she was completely straight; she had dated other guys before. I am always cocky & funny when I am around her, and I follow the other rules that I have learned on your site. By the way she acts, if she was straight I would be 95% sure she was attracted to me, but then there's that problem that she claims that she's homosexual. So what my question boils down to is, am I wasting my time with this girl? Should I do anything more/less (for example, being more cocky & funny) while I'm around bisexual girls? Thanks for your time, The man from the Moon >>>MY COMMENTS: Hey, it can't hurt to keep going with her. I mean, if things work out, you might be in for the treat of your life. If not, bisexual women usually have TONS of hot, adventurous friends. Oh, and you suck. ***QUESTION*** Jedi Master Dave, Great stuff. I have learned a lot just from the emails alone. But I do have a question. I have a female friend who introduced me to Cosmopolitan Magazine. She said if I wanted to understand women and how they think, I should read the magazine. I was skeptical but I said what the heck, so I went out and bought a copy. Interesting stuff that women worry about when it comes to men. What do you think about guys picking up a Cosmo Magazine to help figure out women? I was thinking about adding a Cosmo subscription along with my subscription to Maxim and Stuff. D Columbus, Ohio >>>MY COMMENTS: Interesting thought. I think that reading a Cosmo can give you a lot of interesting insights into women. Also, it doesn't hurt to be up on the "hot topics" that women are thinking and talking about... or about current fashion (especially to make fun of it). But the problem is that Cosmo isn't around to teach men how to meet women. And the content often plays on women's insecurities and fantasies... not on reality. If you read too many issues of Cosmo, you'll probably start acting a little freaky. But I will tell you this much... an issue of Cosmo on your coffee table will attract a woman and start an interesting conversation faster than you can light the candles... ***SUCCESS STORY*** I've been reading you e-mail for about 5 months now an i bought your e-book at the same time. Since i started receiving your e-mail, i noticed that a lot of people think that your material teach guys how to be someone we're not i other to get a girl. In fact, i think that what you have taught me is more of how to be MYSELF around women instead of SOMEONE ELSE. I used to think that i should hold back some part of my personality when i was around women because i thought that may be they wouldn't like it and run away ( and in all case, it's what happened ) but in fact, i've learned that if she knows about these parts of my personality, it's easy to have a good laugh about it, then i feel much more confortable and natural around her, and she could also share some parts of her's with me too ( witch make us know each other much better )... In any case, i can't lose because if she does'nt like it and SHE IS running away, at least i'll save a lot of time that would have been spent with a girl who can't like me for who i am and probably don't have any sense of humour. Finaly, i just wanted to say to those who still doubt that this stuff works that not only did i doubled my dating, but I'm also sleeped with 2 beautiful girls lately (a 8.5 and a 9 to my scale) and we where cuddling and kissing all night. I never belived that it could happened to me! I've also learned to enjoy myself and meet women in any situation witch makes my life much more interesting. Your book would be worth it even if i haven't had doubled my dating just because of all the part of my life that your book have helped me to improve! Hey, when you think about it, when is the last time you went to a library, bought a book and received weekly updates of this book after that??? Good job David GT from Quebec Canada (Yes i'm a french canadian so sorry if my english is not perfect) >>>MY COMMENTS: YES YES YES! (No, I'm not touching myself.) The fact is that my materials are all about teaching men to act MORE authentic, not LESS authentic. Sure, I teach "techniques" to use. Sure, I teach how to talk to women and what to say. But remember, there was a time when you didn't know how to kiss a woman... but now you do. How is that possible? No, it wasn't from kissing your mom (at least, I hope not). It was because you LEARNED HOW. I could say to you "Well, you're not being YOURSELF when you kiss women"; because you're doing something that you LEARNED how to do. Or I could say "You had to LEARN how to kiss a woman first, but now that you know how, you can just DO IT, and be YOURSELF when you do". My materials are the same deal. Once you LEARN THEM, you realize that they're the "natural" thing to do... This is the stuff that the "naturals" - the guys who are "naturally successful" with women do. That's where I learned most of it! Thanks for the email and the success story. Congrats. ***SUCCESS STORY*** Dave, Oh man, what a story. So, about a year ago, for a prom date, my friend sets me up with a girl he knows (i know man, i couldn't even get a date for prom on my own). She's really good looking, funny, intelligent, surely a 9 or 10. Major bomb, Dave. By the end of the night, she's practically hooked up with another one of my friends. On the way back home, I blow it even more. I don't talk, I don't look at her, I act like a total 110% douche bag wussie boy. EVEN AFTER THIS, I get a hold of her in the morning, and apologize for how I had acted. Needless to say, she didn't give two shi*s at this point. Well, a little time passed, and I talked to her online a few times, just to keep contacts open. Then it all changed a few weeks ago. I see that she's online, so I message her, we start talking, and I really lay on the C&F. I say that I have to go, and we say our goodbyes. A couple of days later, she signs on, but I don't message her. I wait a few minutes, and I get a message from her. Of course, we start talking again, I lay on the C&F, and she gets "mad" at me for "bursting her bubbles." Anyway, this has been going on for a few weeks now, and I haven't messaged her since the first time. She keeps asking me when I'm comming home from college, and all of that. Thank you so much, Dave, for all of your advice. I'll keep you posted with whats what after I get home. KR Rochester, NY >>>MY COMMENTS: Oh YEAAAAAAH BABY. That's what I'M talking about. I was talking to a friend today about some of the things that I teach. I said to him "You know, it's so powerful when a guy reads my stuff for awhile and thinks to himself "This stuff will never work... this stuff could NEVER work..." etc. But then one day, after having NOTHING work, he says "OK, what the hell, I'll try it"... and behold, the woman he's talking to LIGHTS UP and starts responding! He then becomes an instant believer..." It's not too hard to prove to yourself that this stuff works with women. Just try it a few times. Thanks for your email. You'd better email and let me know what happens. Remind me when you do, so I remember who you are. ***COMMENT*** Hey Dave- I could share plenty of my success stories with you but you get plenty of those. And the DVD's cover any questions I have. Just wanted to share something with you and my fellow Casanovas out there. Recently I was ill and quite bed-ridden and found my self flipping endlessly through the 300+ TV channels at a girlfriend's house. I came across some Dating shows I would normally dismiss as stupid (blind date, elimidate, etc.). Man these shows are invaluable! As a performer (I'm a musician) the first time I saw myself play on video-tape HIT ME HARD. I saw everything I was doing which I normally could not. Not just the way I was playing, but my posture, my body language, etc. The same is true of dating. However, we don't usually have the opportunity to videotape our dates and then go study them for future reference. But shows like these essentially do the same thing because 99% of the time, guys make the same mistakes. I know, of course, that experience is the only way to improve. But these shows just further prove what you're saying. Peace- PS Bloomington, IN -mecca of beautiful single women >>>MY COMMENTS: Yes, you're right... but unfortunately the way that they USUALLY prove that I'm right is because most of the guys on these shows are DEPRESSINGLY HORRIBLE with women. When I watch one of these shows I want to reach through the T.V. and shake the Wussbag out of them! But they are valuable, and I do recommend that guys watch them to see how things work (even if it is staged and a little fake). Of course, as you mentioned above, my DVD program is the REAL way to learn fast. And it DOES answer all the questions. But here's an interesting benefit that comes from going through my Advanced Dating Techniques program... It actually CHANGES HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD. The first time you listen to it or watch it, you'll be hitting your head saying "Ah ha! Ah ha!" the whole time. All of those things that have happened to you with women will start to make sense. All of the times you screwed up will stop bothering you, because you'll "get" what happened... and all of the times that things worked will also make sense. Of course, you'll also be shaking your head as you learn some of the most amazing techniques for approaching women, getting numbers, getting dates, and taking things to a more "physical level" that have ever been created. (For example, I share all of my own personal favorite "pick up lines" that work better than anything I've ever heard of for approaching women... and I don't share these anywhere else except my intensive seminars). But one of the REAL benefits comes AFTER you go through it. This is when the real MAGIC starts to happen. When you're out at restaurants watching the couple at the next table, you'll UNDERSTAND what is happening. When a woman starts doing something subtle that you would have never noticed before, you'll SEE it... and she'll SEE that you see it... and you will instantly be talking to her on a DIFFERENT LEVEL... all because you know something that most other guys don't. When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or "tests" from women, you will no longer need to get nervous or upset, because you'll know what TO DO about it... and when you actually DO the right thing you'll see that problem disappear. The point that I'm trying to make is that this education will not only teach you techniques for meeting women, it will also give you a new POWER that you never had before. I can honestly say to you that if this program were available five or so years ago when I started learning this stuff, I would have gladly traded ANYTHING I owned for it. But it wasn't, so I had to take YEARS figuring all of this stuff out for myself. This program is priceless, and it's worth at least ten times what I sell it for. As you probably know, you can try it and see for yourself with ZERO RISK. In other words, order it, go through it, and test it all out... and only pay if you LOVE it... and only if it gets you more dates with women. I'm that confident that it will take your success with women to a whole new level. All the details, plus some great free preview video clips are here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/AdvancedSeries/ And if you'd like an introduction to my main concepts and techniques, then you need to start with my eBook, "Double Your Dating". It's the foundation for everything that I teach in these newsletters, and it's a MUST read. You can download it here and literally be reading it within a few minutes from right now. Get it here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/eBook/ I'll talk to you again soon. Your Friend, David D. P.S. Take a minute and look at all of the different programs that I've put together to help you learn how to meet women. You can see them all, and watch great video clips HERE: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/ P.P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines: 1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max. 2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations. 3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first. 4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from. 5) Send it to me at: SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com ...don't just hit "reply" to this email. Thanks!