Friday, November 16, 2007
Reflections
Category: Writing and Poetry
where i stand in life...Alot people want to know where i stand in life so here it goes...I have been through alot..i lost my husband 4 yrs.. ago he was shot I have 3 boys that are very wonderful...I lost every male in my life my dad died 6 mths after my husband was killed...So I guess I learned a lesson in life that some people never learn..To love and respect those you have because when there gone there is no turning back..I have learned honesty is the most golden thing you can do..I have alot of problems in my relationships with people like who i am until i date them then they want to try and change me..well i think there is somebody for everybody why try to change anyone..I expect very little i just ask for respect i don't even care if anyone ever loves me as long as they respect me...and honesty with loyalty...i do give it all and am not wrong for expecting it...people come and go in and out of my life some come then there gone forever..as for some I am glad for that..others it feels good when we meet up again after years of not seeing each other..i also notice that i have fallin into a trap this last relationship i was in i fell in love with the box he was handsome but the box was empty his heart was cold and he was full of hate...when i first met him he gave me a beautifil cake and shit on it...but that was the way was used to being..i have beat my face was broken and i care more about that guy then i do my ex..he hurt my emotionally..he knew what he was doing..it took me awhile to realize that not everybody is what they say they are..he was just an illusion..of something I wanted.. he prentened to be that....He fooled me and left me with hate and pain...some people come into your life they need a possitive person you offer your hand to pick them up they grab it but don't want to make the change to scared to or not ready i don't know i am sure the intentions are always good...friends are the ones that are there rain or shine through your highs and lows..that you call anytime they will be there..I moved out here from st.George only knew my ex he didn't want me to have friends..he broke up with me once a week so i went to work and meet alot of friends i had good friends out in st.George even in Vegas..but my friends here in cedar are my best friends i have ever had they seen me through the rough times with my ex..they stuck by me never turned there back..they are still here today..I am who I am I love to be around friends I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh..I love my 3 boys and am proud of them everyday for being survivors of life there dad and grandfather dying..my ex some of the people in our lives that use to call us friends..I have moved to many of different places and used to strip and tour dancing there are many things i have see many of things i still want to see..i want no more drama..truthful honest friends that are loyal..exceptant..and just want to hang out and have fun..that is what i want...
