For the record, I never truly left this site...I just took a 6 month vacation!
OK So now that I've paid my "Hell Freezes Over" tribute (fans of The Eagles would know what I am talking about there), time to answer the question on a lot of my friends' minds...where the hell have I been and what's been going on? (I seem to answer this one quite a bit!)
I like to think of myself as one of the most liked and most respected people on here...and I have/had the messages to prove it! Yet in the last 6 months I have found myself wondering who is a true friend and who just takes me along for the ride. I have heard friends talk to me about what other friends have said about me and I consider myself betrayed once again (and the ones telling me are not the lying types...I've looked into their souls and seen the integrity they have). I've been called a player to a fraud...hell, I've even heard the comment about being a "Jeckyll and Hyde" (I gotta admit, that one was creative)...makes me wonder if I will ever be able to have a normal life with a normal relationship when there are people doing stupid stuff like this. But you know what, I shouldn't really be surprised...it is true that at least at one time in my life, everyone that has crossed my path has either turned their back on me or stuck a knife in mine...something that may never change for me in this lifetime, and something I have come to accept.
Lately, I have put a lot into writing! In the past few weeks, I have had a total of 15 literary works (poems and short stories to be exact) copyrighted and submitted for possible publication as well as a novel in the works. I have actually decided to take some of my talents and put them to some good use. It also helps keep me from falling into the same trap and opening the door to being hurt again by other people. The only drama I like is the kind I write about...not the kind I get subjected to here or anywhere else in the real world! Anybody who can't accept that...well, I fail to see where that's my problem!
This is also a very hard and very emotional time of year for me...the last 4 months of the year always are and have been for almost 20 years. This is the time of year where my life has suffered the most loses. In 34 years, most of the people who have left my life have been from September on, and many of them never got to see the age of 30. I still have 2 more anniversaries to go before the year is up and sometimes it still hurts...the memories live with me forever, but many a time I wish they were still here!
Now those who truly do care have other ways to reach me...email, messengers, phone number, etc. If you wanna know what I've been up to, don't wait for me to get back on here...you may be waiting a long time! Anyone who wants my info...all you gotta do is ask! If I don't respond to you right away, be patient...I don't respond to every call or message that comes across my path anymore - I tend to lose my sanity a lot faster that way! Those who don't really care...well, the feeling just became mutual!
So to those who really are my friends...I love you all, I miss you, and I hope that all is well for you! If I don't get back on here, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Take care all!