mine and yours...the daily dose of emo.
to jess, even tho she wont ever read this since she doesnt have a CT profile...but it's the thought that counts, right?
you, jess, are my best friend in d-mas and you turned 18 not that long ago. the next day, you didnt come home from school, but you moved into an apartment with friends. you quit your job and dropped out of school. i dont think you have any money. the girl you were staying with got evicted and you moved somewhere else. you lost your cellphone - your prized possesion and the only thing you cant live without - and you dont have internet (none that i know of) and you havet contacted me in ages.
my mom told me this morning when your mom called. anne broke down over the phone and told my mom everything. you never said anything to me about it but it seems too coincidental to not be planned. last i heard from you, girl, you said you were gonna get married to your 20 yr old boyfriend (whom you've been dating for a few years) who has a kid from a previous girlfriend. i asked you how you would explain this to your parents and you said you didnt know but that he would pay for the entire wedding.
my mom told me you moved in with some girl, ashley. it could be a different ashley, but the ashley you had talked to me about cheated on you. so in retaliation, you cheated on ashley wit a 14 yr old girl who i met at your party.
i think back to when we were younger, at the thanksgiving parties and picking the christmas trees. i remember going into that diner in d-mas after freezing out in the cold, waiting for our dads and your brother to cut them down and tie them onto the roofs of our cars. back when we were happy and carefree. when we didnt care about boyfriends and hook ups, or drugs and drinking, or fashion and popularity. we were just two kids who hung out every once in awhile, got picked on by your brother, and ate some good food at each other's houses. we had childhood innocence back then.
jess, you wont ever read this. you wont ever know that i'm crying as i write this. you wont know that as my eyes close and the words blur on the screen, that i wonder if i'll ever see you again...or if you even care about the people you hurt and shocked by just disappearing. i worry about you. i worry that if you ever need me, that i wont be able to be there for you.
from that little kid who would run with me down rows of christmas trees when our winters were white, to an 18 yr old trying to get away from your parents and piercing your nose in a tacobell...you've changed so much.
jess, i miss you...
~ace~
