Oh man today I realgize more than anything that I do care more about what the Boy thinks and the sad part is that I can't show my emotions .
It would let too many people down who believe in me .
I won't understand why he and i care so much about each other but yet we aren't together are we don't talk ..
i know he cares cuz when this friend of mine called him and told him I was in distressed he was so happy to hear about me and know things about me and she had to go and lie to him and say I was dying grrrr First of all I didn't know she got in my phone and got his number .. and second of all I wouldn't have let her talk that smack to him at all ..
But i tried to call the jail to see if he was still there and no luck he left ..
I'm just feeling like i'm walking thru my life in a coma and just going thru the emotions and not really alive .
I just want him to come back so we can fix this . I so heartbroke and miserable .. But in Reality I Dunno if it will ever be again ..
I don't think anyone will ever know how it feels to be me and him .. because we kept it so between us and not out so much in the open ..
But he knows the truth and I know the truth ..
I hope some day he will come back and forgive the things we can't change ... and accept the things we can ..
till later ..
