i'm not really feeling how i thought i was feeling then.
i'm broken.
i'm fucked up in the head.
like a razorblade covered in lust cutting out the love covered in you.
it's over.
i'm covered in bruises and this time it's literal.
this time it's for keeps.
this time it's for you.
i can't even fucking write anymore.
i'm killing the words like i've killed every god damned from the start emotion that's ever been flung my way.
stunned from the get go.
or was that stunted?
go ahead and love me if that's what you felt you wanted to do.
but i assure you it's a bad idea.
and this isn't just me being emotional.
this isn't black fingernails and new holes in the face of a sixteen year old wet on the edges little boy filled with hatred towards everything that doesn't love him enough to pop a pimple on his exposed ribcage back.
this is real.
this is the end.
but i promise... more than i've ever promised anything in my life... this wasn't a mistake.
everything happens for a reason.
is this my fate?
