Irish Bitch's blog: "When a woman loves a soilder"

THE TOP THINGS YOU NEVER SAY 2 A SOILDERS SPOUCE!! 1."Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?" (This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying) 2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it. (This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices) 3."At least he's not in Iraq' (This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan, Africa, ETC.... What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there) 4."Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/ birth of a child/wedding/ family reunion, etc?" (Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again) 5."What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?" (Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy) 6."How much longer does he have until he can get out?" (This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done) 7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it. (Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away) 8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through. (This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/ Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible) 9."Wow you must miss him?" (This one also gets antoher big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced) 10."Where is he exactly? Where is that?" (I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day —and on maps everywhere) 11."Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there' (Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome. " He's still fighting for your freedom) 12."Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!" (hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously…military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand months of sex deprivation) 13. "Well in my opinion….." (Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a restaurant when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, etc. While we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves) last but not least…. 14 "OH, that's horrible…I'm so sorry!" (He's doing his job and he's tough. Don't be sorry) Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad) If you want to say anything, say thank you. After all, we are sexually deprived for your freedom

1.) If she wasn't emotional before, that is all about to change. 2.) You getting a higher rank could just mean an automatic free lay. 3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off. 4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand) 5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant) 6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names. 7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men... she will be proud... VERY proud. 8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an "I LOVE MY _____" sticker eventually. (if you have seperate cars, hers will DEFINITLY have these) 9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car's rear view mirror. (see 3) 10.) Every week she'll have "another song" that makes her think of you when you're away. (And she'll cry to it, even when you're in the same room) 11.) If youre married, she may know the base better than you do... Don't take it personal. 12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with "other couples" in the military constantly. 13.) She'll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her "old friends just don't understand" like they do. 14.) Don't be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her) 15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you... (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn't be here) 16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. it's sexy as hell. 17.) Only bring up the field once, say it clear, and don't bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like stone inside our mind. Don't remind us. 18.) You ARE our hero. That isn't us being cute, it's us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess everytime we glance over and you're standing there. 19.) Don't worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she's NOT sleeping. If she is, she's been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone. 20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her... she'll wear them all the time and if she doesnt wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep. 21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears. 22.) Dont be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she's still your queen, soft and sweet. 23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it's okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time. 24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her. 25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls... random profain comments may come out of your little queens' mouth... its okay, shes protecting her best asset...you. 26.) She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a pasttime until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home. 27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with "when i get home" or "when i get out". Lastly guys, 28.) No matter how much she's changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.