Over 16,514,128 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

What Women Want...and by

So, I've compiled a list of traits neccesary in the perfect mate. If I've missed anything, ladies, go ahead and say so. 1. He must have a job...or some other means of paying his own way. if it's illegal, I don't wanna know about it. That way I can't be forced to testify against you when you get caught. 2. He must have his own transportation. (exceptions may be made in special cases as long as he's willing to pay for gas in these days of rising fuel costs.) At the very least he should have a valid drivers' license. I'm sick of being the chauffeur. 3. He must have a sense of humor AT LEAST as sick and twisted as mine. If we don't get each other's jokes there's no point in telling them and without laughter there is nothing. 4. He must not have a jealous nature. Most of my friends are guys because, in general, most women I've known have proven themselves to be selfish catty bitches(No offense to the lovely ladies on this site. I'm not talking about any of you.) Plus, I'm bi, so there may be the occasional girl on girl make out session. Deal with it. 5. Must put the toilet seat down when he leaves the bathroom. (At this point I'd like to also interject that there is always a bottle of air freshener in my shitter. PLEASE USE IT.) 6. Must like all of my music...or at least not make fun of it. I have very eclectic taste and that's just the way it is. My playlist includes everything from Mozart to Metallica. If you don't like it, invest in earplugs. 7. Must be honest. I cannot abide a liar. If you feel the need to lie to someone, lie to someone else. Just make sure I know what you told them so I can back up your story. 8. Must like movies...and lots of them. Especially Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino type of flicks. 9. Must clean up after himself. I'm OCD...don't aggravate the condition. I may be willing to pick up your dirty underwear and socks off the floor a few times, but after a while of this you may wake up one morning to find them stuffed in your mouth or another, equally uncomfortable, orafice. I don't play around. 10. Must like kids. That is all. 11. Must shower on a regular basis. This does not apply to those weekends we spend at Zoe. It's fun to be dirty there. But in general, yeah...cleanliness is next to godliness and if I can smell your B.O. from across the room I'm certainly not gonna be in a big hurry to get any closer, if you know what I mean. 12. Must love dogs. And conversely, my dog must love you. She's my asshole detector. 13. Must fold laundry. I hate doing that. 14. Must like the outdoors. Hiking, camping, swimming, etc. This one is VERY important as I do these things often. 15. Stoners are welcome and, in fact, preferred. But know this...I have never and will never tolerate the following drugs: Meth, heroin, constant pill popping, large daily amounts of alcohol( i rarely drink), and cocaine in any form. In general my rule is to keep it natural. Besides, all of the drugs that I mentioned tend to make you act like a complete and total moron...and I will want to slap you. 16. Must have the ability to spell and/or read. Nothing grates on my nerves more than trying to read a note where every word is misspelled and the sentence structure is totally screwed. For most of you, english is your first language. Don't butcher it. 17. Must like to cuddle. Please note that cuddling does NOT always have to lead to sex, although most of the time it does. 18. Don't check out other chicks...unless of course you're going to point them out to me too. 19. Must have pretty eyes. I realize this is purely asthetic, but eyes are the windows to the soul and if I'm gonna be looking into them for any period of time I at least want to enjoy the view. 20. Must have hair. The longer the better, but I'll settle for a guy who doesn't look like Kojak.
Leave a comment!
html comments NOT enabled!
NOTE: If you post content that is offensive, adult, or NSFW (Not Safe For Work), your account will be deleted.[?]

giphy icon
last post
10 years ago
posts
161
views
43,179
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 15 years ago
Untitled.
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0362 seconds on machine '192'.