I understand that it isn't being a man, and that the "bad boys" out there make it hard for the good guys. Women seem so complex, so mysterious, so...difficult. You're always missing something, some little bit of nothing that you never knew she expected you to do. And here's an insider tip for you -- most of the time we never knew we expected you to do it either. Sometimes we just make it up as we go along.
Here's a clue to all of you -- it's not about fancy dinners and spending lots of money. J-Lo wasn't lying when she said her love didn't cost a thing. What women really want is something you have in you at this very moment, something that won't even require you taking a single dime out of your wallet. They are little things you probably didn't realize make all the difference. And you can start doing them today.
Let her know you're thinking of her. Call her sporadically during the day. Or send her little e-mails just to say you miss her. Or, as a friend of mine advised recently, leave a little note on her car windshield. We know you get busy and can't possibly do this constantly, but women take a lot from what you show us. It's the little things that make all the difference.
Plan a special night. This goes along with letting her know you're thinking of her. As you are planning, you're imagining the look on her face when she sees what you've done. And it makes you happy to know how much it will mean to her. It doesn't even matter what the special night entails. Cook her dinner, light some candles, draw her a warm bath, pick up her favorite ice cream at the grocery store. (For the record, you can't go wrong with Ben and Jerry's!)
Look into her eyes. Listen to her when she talks, really listen. When your eyes are diverted to the hot blonde at table four, we notice it and it irritates us. And eventually we shut up. (Or is that the point...?)
Touch her. Hold her hand, give her sweet, soft kisses. Act as if you can't stop touching her. Let her know that it's not always about sex. If you're having sex, put her needs first. Little tip -- if you make sure she enjoys sex, she'll want to have it with you more often. Everyone wins.
Be dependable. A man proving he can keep his word is a man proving he is someone you can trust. There are very few things in the early stages of a relationship more important than that. If you make a promise and don't keep it, that says to her, "I can't believe his promises." And it sticks for the life of the relationship. He's Just Not That Into You said it best. "Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside."
Take things slowly. We know you want to rush to get us naked from the first date. That's part of being male. And we don't want to keep being a prude by constantly turning you down but the more you push the quicker we'll cave and, believe me, we're not ready to cave that early on. No matter what you think you're reading from our body language. So quit pushing things to the next stage and just enjoy what you have. The rest will come in time...
Tell us we're beautiful. Compliment us. If you like something, say so. It gives us that inner glow that makes us even more beautiful. Last year I got all dressed up for a date, walked out, and my date said nothing. I tried to fish for a compliment. "How do I look?" I asked and he said, "Fine." I said, "Am I dressed okay for wherever it is we're going?" He said, "Actually, you're a little overdressed." I couldn't dig a compliment out of that guy with a shovel. Leerers on the street had more finesse than that guy.
Surprise her with flowers. Yeah, I know. Flowers cost money. Heck, just pick a bunch from your neighbor's front stoop when she's not home. Or bring a little gift, something that lets her know you were thinking of her. A fifty-cent pack of gum can bring tears to a woman's eyes if it has some sort of significant meaning.
That's all I have for now. There are probably more. Women, speak up -- What do you want from a man that I haven't covered here?
