>Men tend to base attraction on LOOKS, and women
tend to base attraction on "chemistry" and
"sexual tension"... and other things that
involve your PERSONALITY. If you'd like to learn
the secret to creating attraction with women that
are "out of your league", then go and read THIS:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/SexualCommunication/
***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have
been trying C & F routine recently and it has been
working like a charm. Your CD is incredible with
information that builds on your book. An example
of C & F happened recently. Women always make
comments of my age and how I appear much younger
than my age (i'm in my mid-thirties but appear to
be 24-25). Before reading your book and listening
to your CD, I would simply laugh or say thank you
if a woman said I looked a lot younger than my
age. Recently I was out with my friends and this
good-looking woman said the same comment. My
response was "come on, I'm not going to fall for a
line that. You women just want me for my youthful
looks". Then I continued busting on her and left
with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked by my
exchange with her and my success.
I have a question though Dave. What if a woman, in
the conversation with you, states she does not
like a certain type of guy; for example she says
she likes tall guys but one happens to be short.
Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a
perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into
Cocky and funny responses?
Thanks a million,
Disciple in Training in D.C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, I really enjoy the way you've
turned the issue of looking younger around and
framed it as a woman's pathetic attempt to pick
you up and use you.
This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all
the right things... it creates sexual tension,
humor and a challenge all at the same time.
Very nice.
But the part of your email that I really like
is the QUESTION you've asked.
You've asked:
"What if a woman, in the conversation with you,
states she does not like a certain type of guy;
for example she says she likes tall guys but one
happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of
examples of turning a perceived deficit (height,
lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funny
responses?"
Here's something that you must remember:
IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS
IMPORTANT, THEN YOU'LL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO
SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOT FEEL ATTRACTION TOWARDS
YOU.
Remember, ATTRACTION isn't a "logical" process.
It really doesn't make very much sense (until you
understand how it works, that is).
Just because a woman SAYS that she doesn't
"like" a certain "type" of guy doesn't mean that
she can't feel a POWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of
this "type".
Are you with me here?
ATTRACTION is an emotional and physical
RESPONSE.
A "type" is a PREFERENCE.
They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.
Here's a good example: Women are universally
more interested in taller men. If you ask a woman
what "type" of "height" ISN'T her type, she'll say
something like "short guys" or "guys who are
shorter than me" etc.
I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who
said "I like shorter guys". Never.
But guess what?
I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the
5'2" to 5'6" range that are UNBELIEVABLE with
women. They ALL date beautiful women who are
taller than them.
So what's going on here?
ATTRACTION is what's going on.
So, when you ask me how to use a Cocky & Funny
line to turn a "perceived deficit" around, the
FIRST thing I have to say is, "Stop thinking of it
as a deficit".
First, you need to stop caring what a woman
thinks of you ALL-TOGETHER.
Completely.
Totally.
100%.
If you care what she thinks of you, then you're
probably going to start acting like a total WUSS,
and you're going to screw things up INSTANTLY.
Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who look to
them for approval.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who are strong,
independent, and not affected by the opinions of
others.
As a note, you can learn an entire SYSTEM
for overcoming these "mental limitations"... and
you can also learn how to build a rock-solid
self-image that will be INCREDIBLY attractive
to women. If this is something you need to get
handled, then go and read this:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/DeepInnerGame/
So, based on this new perspective, here are a
few ways that you could handle a situation like
this one...
1) NOT CARE AT ALL
One of the things you could do is to not
address the comment at all... as if it didn't even
exist.
A mistake many people make is thinking that
they MUST take every communication that another
person takes seriously and then RESPOND to it.
Not so.
You don't have to do ANYTHING if you don't want
to.
So, if a woman says, "I like tall guys", you
can just act as if it had never been said and
continue with your conversation, getting her
email/number, or whatever.
By the way, this concept can be EXTREMELY
useful in other situations as well. For instance,
if a woman starts getting upset about something
and being overly dramatic, one great thing to do
is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there and don't
respond at all. Then, when it settles down a
little, just continue your conversation as if
nothing had happened (Oh, and stop hanging out
with dramatic, overly-emotional women too, you
dork!).
2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER
In this case, you're talking about height. One
way to deal with this is to bring it up before she
does.
As soon as you start talking say, "Well, you're
taller than me... I'm over it, are you yet?"
This says a few things. It says that you know
what's going on... it says you're confident... and
it shows that you're not afraid to deal with it.
It also addresses the issue in such a way that
you'll know where she stands on it.
If she just CAN'T get past it, she'll tell you.
3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM
Here's a place to use Cocky & Funny. - You
might say, "Wow, you're kind of a freak. I think
something like 1% of women are as tall as you. It
must suck trying to find nice pants, huh? You have
to wear all those weird pants made for freaks and
stuff."
Or, if she's talking about a trait that she's
attracted to, point out the negative sides of that
trait in a Cocky & Funny way.
Maybe she says, "I like men who know how to
treat a lady special, take her nice places, and
who pay for everything to show that they're a
gentleman".
You might say, "Oh, so what you're telling me
is that you like men who basically pay for your
attention with money and gifts... how romantic."
...The one thing that you'll find at the bottom
of all the ideas that I've just presented is FIRST
OF ALL, NOT CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU.
I know that it's a paradox... you obviously
want her to like you, but you have to not care
what she thinks of you.
Well, get over it.
Women aren't attracted to men who are APPROVAL
SEEKERS.
And if a woman throws out a comment like, "I
like tall guys", you must first learn to NOT CARE,
and not let it impact you emotionally.
Then you'll be free to redirect the
conversation and decide if she's the kind of woman
that YOU would like to go out with.
By the way, when you are interacting with a
woman, one of the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will
determine whether or not she will feel ATTRACTION
for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOW YOU COMMUNICATE
THEM.
And you are constantly communicating your
beliefs with your body language, voice tone,
words, topics, questions, and everything else you
do.
In my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program
I spend literally HOURS going into some of the
things you need to understand and do to
communicate your inner beliefs in such a way that
they lead to a woman feeling that magical emotion
called ATTRACTION for you.
This material will truly blow your mind. It
took me over 5 YEARS to really figure it all out
and then put it together and explain it... and I
absolutely guarantee that this material will make
you feel powerful and excited about meeting
women... and of course it will also give you all
the specific tools, techniques and specifics that
you'll need to do it as well. Go to:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/AdvancedSeries/
...for some great free samples and all the
details.
And if you haven't downloaded my online eBook
"Double Your Dating" yet, then you need to go and
do that RIGHT NOW. It's the base and the
foundation of everything I teach, and you can
download it RIGHT NOW and be reading it within a
few minutes. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/eBook/
And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you'd like to read the story of how I
learned to overcome my fears, approach women,
and start dating the kinds of women that I always
wanted... then go here:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/
P.P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,
Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs
max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask
your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff
is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well
your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I
DO need to hear all of the specifics... because
this helps other guys to see what's working in
different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success
Story" in the subject line of the email. I read
these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials
and tell me where you're from.
5) Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
...don't just hit "reply" to this email.
Thanks!