who in the hell do some of theses people think they are? how dare they critique me and say that the things i do are wrong. that is untilwhat i do has a direct impact on their lives or the lives of their loved ones.for the past month i have not been able to read a news paper or walk in a bar without hearing someone say "well they should have done it this way or that way".i just wish some,including the so called experts would keep their fucking mouth shut!! the whole thing is hard enough to just simply think about but then have to defend myself and my brothers against the ones that have no fucking clue as to what i do!! back draft, ladder 49, towering inferno, they are all nothing more than movies that someone made alot of money off of. this is real fucking life and to the ones that are sitting in their nice suits and ties behind they're comfortable desk and whatever, kiss my ass becuase you will NEVER EVER know what i do and in what conditions i must do them in. my job is sacred to me and if you really want to know what i do join your local fire dept. and get a hands on veiw of what i do and the tragedy that i have seen in my years!!!! for the ones of you that dothe job thank you and i am very proud to be your brother!!
alot of people dont realize what happens. if you're in the brotherhood and your brothers are hurt or their families are hurt, you yourself hurt. you drop what you are doing and immediatly go to their aid just for the simple fact that you know they would do the same for you. no questions asked!! on the 18th of june i received a phone call from dispatchers that there was a large fire in my stations run area and that there was a possability of guys trapped from my engine company. i dropped everything i was doing and headed to work immediatly. i made a few phone calls to certain people to let them know what was happening. one of the most important phone calls was to my ex-wife to let her know what was going on and to tell my two beautiful kids that i love them but did not know when i would be home. she told me to be careful and to try and keep her informed. as i got closer and closer the phone calls would get worse as people were finding out who was missing and what maydays were issued.my stomach was in knots, i was sweating and could not drive fast enough to get there. by the time i got there the number had went to nine. i was beside myself and scared to death of what the names were going to be. i knew in my mind who six of them were and were hoping someone would come to me and say this is all a dream and you need to wake up. well that never happened and i along with the others on my company carried six bodies out of that building. the bodies were draped in american flags and carried out by the remainning members of they're respectful company. the remainder of the dept. and all the mutual aid depts. were in a line on each side saluting them as we carried them out. for those of you that are slaming my dept. FUCK YOU!!! you will never know how many times in a day or for that matter an hour we wonder will we be able to see our kids the next day or will today be our day. i called my best freind which is my ex wife shortly after andshe was the bigest help to through this whole thing. i never told my wife exactly what i do because she dosent need to draw a mental image of that horrific site. now she knows exactly what i do for a measly 32,0000 a year. i have never seen her break down like that before but i can tell ya it was the best hug ever and we both have a pact that if the other is in trouble we would help them. all of you that read this will never know what that meant to me. i seen my two kids that night and they were already asleep but i huged and kissed them and said a little prayer for all of us. im not trying to write a book or anything like that, i just want everyone that thinks they know what my job is to stop and realize that they will never know! dont jump my ass over what you dont understand!!
