KillJoy's blog: "What's Going On?"

Well where do I start? I guess with today's events. It was my court date for my dui. I really didn't want anyone to know why but hearing this you would think something else if not. I know I've fucked up and I'm not proud of it. The judge, well, she is a total bitch! Yet to sum it up real quick I guess I did get somewhat of a decent deal, especially in comparison to what I could have received. I have to do 30 days house arrest, the victims impact panel (a one time meeting to hear these mothers and loved ones talk about how they lost their family and loves to drunk drivers), and I will have to go to rehab. It will be IOP (intensive out-patient). They want to check me for depression, and I will have to go 2 nights a week and 3 A.A. meetings a week also. I have no idea for how long either. On top of all this if I will be on probation for 2yrs and if I fuck any of it up I will do 11months in jail. I will also attempt to continue going to college. With all this going on I will be pretty busy. Probably not even able to find a job. Yet I can't afford all this and my debts grow deeper by the day now. To make matters worst. I still haven't heard from the sweetest girl. She said she would call and she hasn't. I guess she is going to still go along and marry the jerk instead of giving me a chance. Well I have nothing else to say now, I'm off to eat supper and watch some MindFreak. ]V[assacre

Oh My God. My insides are hurting, this pain is unbearable. The girl I have been talking to recently has shot down all my hopes and dreams of finding true happiness. No matter what anyone would say she was perfect for me. Her personality and main big interests matched me so well I was thinking I found the one. I still believe that. I don't think I honestly will find one exactly like her and I've talked to lots. This one captured and interested me like no other has. Funny how we was planning on meeting, even when we talked earlier today she said yes that the plans were still on. Then her phone mysteriously is turned off! Not just off, but really off! Says the number has been changed, disconnected, or out of service! WTF? After everything we have talked about and said to each other. I feel like I was played and lead on. Just to torment me and kill my hopes and plans. So many wonderful things said between us and now what? I had a ton of wonderful fun things for us to do together around town. Now I feel like I have no will left in me. I can't eat, yet I'm starving, and I can't drink even though I got a bottle of tequila. I feel like I'm dieing inside and wish it would hurry up and end. She also has a myspace page. I have been erased from her friend's list and I know because her page is set private. I take it it's over and nothing is going to happen now. Apparently seems she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I didn't do anything wrong at all, except care about her and offer my heart. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could have an explanation of what is really going on! Yet like always I'm left hanging in the dark, sobbing and not knowing what to do or say anymore. I wish someone could take this pain away but only she can. Why am I the one always to feel this. All these girls say they are the ones treated like crap, everytime. We'll here is the one good guy were it is all reversed and I'm the one getting the shit end of the stick! I could keep going but what does it matter? Who honestly does care about the good guy? My heart has been ripped out, stomped on, spit on, and shredded into pieces. Finally tossed into a gutter to rot. {Massacre's heart breaks}

Okay so NO. I'm not going to shove anything inside your p***y LMAO... I'd love to.. but I am just trying to get everyone's attention. I bought a bottle of Two Fingers Tequila. Took a couple shots and was eating. While I was eating some grub and watching TV you won't guess what I saw. I honestly didn't know what the hell it was at first (because I didn't see the very beginning) but it turned out to be a FRIDAY Cartoon!!! LMAO (IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY!) I didn't know there was a cartoon version of FRIDAY, guess so, but now MTV is playing Friday again. The actual movie. Anyways, come drink with me, talk to me. Love me and do whatever because my buddy blew me off to hang out with a chick and I guarantee everyone he still doesn't get laid! See how wonderful what friends I have left are. I wait for them to get up with me and the next thing you know I am left still waiting and they go do whatever. Oh well. If I had the chance I would probably do it too, but honestly I have my eye one someone. Knowing my luck, what I daydream and the things I want to make real it doesn't matter because someone seems to let me down or something gets in my way. Peace all the fucking way To the middle East! END ]V[assacre P.S. This is the beginning of a whole new Blog to rate. What's Going On? ANSWER: In my life. For my rants, raves, and bitching! Come back often to see what the real Massacre has to say!