NO GOING BACK
AS I LOOK INTO MY FUTURE IT REMINDS ME OF MY PAST AND
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME THEN.
IN SOME WAYS MY LIFE THEN AND MY LIFE NOW BRINGS ME BACK
AND I CANNOT MOVE ON IF I KEEP STAYING IN MY PAST OR RELIVING
IT.
I NEED TO LIVE MY FUTURE WITH SOME JUSTIFICATION TO WHY
I SEEM TO RELIVE WHAT MY PAST HAS PUT ME THROUGH AND WHAT
IT MAY DO TO ME NOW IN MY PRESENT LIFE ..
I SEE THING THAT ARE NOW HAPPENING TO ME BUT ARE FROM MY PAST
AND IN SOME WAY THEY SEEM TO BE BRINGING BACK THE ANGER THAT
I THOUGHT I HAD LEFT BEHIND
..
IS THIS WHAT I NEED IS TO RELIVE WHAT I THOUGHT I HAD PUT BEHIND ME
OR CAN IT BE THAT SOME SORT OF TEST IS BEING PLAYED ON ME AND I AM
FAILING MISERABLY..
WHAT IF I DIED WHAT WOULD THEY SAY ON MY TOMB : HERE LIES PAULINE
SHE LIVED A MISERABLE YET SOMETIMES HAPPY LIFE
WHAT WOULD MY FAMILY/FRIENDS SAY IF I LEFT THEM SO SUDDEN.
.
WELL THEN I WOULD HAVE LIVED A SHORT LIFE FOR THOSE THAT REALLY
DID LOVE AND CARE ABOUT ME: MY CHILDREN , THEY WIL BE MY REASON
TO STAY HERE AND THEY WOULD ALSO BE MY REASON NOT TO GIVE UP
ON WHAT IS SO VERY IMPORTANT TO ME >
MY HEART & SOUL ARE HURTING SO BAD THAT MAYBE ITS TIME FOR ME
STEP BACK AND TAKE A LOOK AT MYSELF AND SEE IT FROM HOW MY LIFE
IS NOW……~
