"I'm going fishing."
Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
________________________________________
"It's a guy thing."
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
________________________________________
"I can't find it."
Really means...."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
________________________________________
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
________________________________________
"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works.
________________________________________
"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means..."I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
________________________________________
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means..."I can't hear the football over the vacuum cleaner."
________________________________________
"That's interesting, dear."
Really means... "Are you still talking?"
________________________________________
"It's a really good movie."
Really means..."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
________________________________________
"That's women's work."
Really means..."I'm difficult, dirty, and thankless."
________________________________________
"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means...."I remember the theme song to 'MASH', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the number plate of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
________________________________________
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means...."I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
________________________________________
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means...."And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
________________________________________
"What did I do this time?"
Really means...."What did you catch me at?"
________________________________________
"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means...."I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
________________________________________
"You look terrific."
Really means...."Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
________________________________________
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means...."No one will ever see us alive again."
________________________________________
"We share the housework."
Really means...."I make the messes, she cleans them up."
