3428401's blog: "What lies beneathe"

I ask you for a favor

it's the simplest thing i can see

all i want you to do is stop

please, just listen to me.

Listen when I say I need you

when I want you to just be there

Listen to when I say I love you

and show me that you care.

Listen to me when I'm happy

that is one thing I always try to be

Listen to why it hurts you don't respond

Listen to what it does to me.

Listen to the fact I count the days

just to hold you near

Listen to the fact I walk through fire

for you I tackle my fear.

Listen to how I love you so much

yet you keep baggering me and wont give up

Listen to when you have broke me down

to when my heart has had enough.

Listen to how I need you to love me

the way you used to do

Listen to how much I tell you you're everything

how much I show you I love you.

Listen to how you took my pain

and made it a huge, big scene

Listen to how I told you to stop

and you really think you weren't being mean?

Listen when I say I'm not perfect

but for you I try to be everything you need

Listen when I say I cant see you're happy

Listen when my tears start to bleed.

It only takes a moment to call

I don't want to lose you too

but i wait and i wait and those moments pass by

and im left with what can i do.

8-10-10

We sat alone in the beginning

but we found each other now

you are the air i breathe

the song i sing

the one i love.

you had me from hello

and yet the feeling still grow

when i think of you, i think of you

cuz youre the one i love.

When i said forever

you said yes

till death do us part this i promised you

even then i will be waiting for you to come to me

cuz i love you

Though a thousand words were upspoken those i will say to you

those are four simple words but they mean so much

and when i think of you

i love you

Even now i sit here and i wait for you

in my arms you will always be

till death due us part...

i loved you from the start

and forever i will be yours.

Made by :Robert Terry

For:Mindy Terry

Date: 08July2010

forever and always babe...i will love you

It seems like only yesterday

we walked both hand in hand

married to you I gave my life

and you a ring and band.

A Soldier's wife I had now become

I did everything you asked of me

I followed you from state to state

the little one suffered without me.

I bought you everything you wanted

yet you always wanted so much more

you always left me in nothing but rags

and now have closed the door.

I met you on here, a long time ago

but it was not that long to me

See i loved you more than the stars in the skys

but your love was not meant to be.

You tattooed me on your leg

even on your finger

You cheated on me numberous times

you thought the voices wouldnt linger.

I dealt with everything I possibly could

I never let you go

now you say I'm worth nothing and such

my child was just your show

7 years old so happy to move

he was so ready to be by your side

he loves you like an innocent would

not knowing you pushed him aside.

For you do not care that he cries over you

You won't even say I'm sorry the pain is so bad

You are to busy off having fun

running around screaming at me being mad.

Yet I walked through a shadow of death

brimstone and hell for you

but you leave me alone in a silent place

for it's all you know how to do.

I cry and I cry, how i want it to stop

your to busy witth your whores there

now I'm left to be alone

and the pain of this love I have to bear.

Copywrite:Gothic Goddess.

Of all blogs, this is the hardest I have ever had to write. As of 9:28 am this morning my Soldier husband, text me and told me that for 2 months he has been lieing to me about loving me, and he really doesnt. For months he made love to me when I visited, and tried to even get me pregnant.For two weeks he rarely called, and I finally said what is wrong..this is his response...

"I have an emotional problem"

me " in a marriage it takes two to work as a union, so what is your problem, we can fix it"

him " that is my problem"

me "Our marriage is your problem"

him "yes for 2 months I have not loved you and have been fronting everything. I  don't know what to do."

me " you are telling me this over a text"

him " i dont feel how i used to"

then came the call, the one we all dread when you are married for life. He said, I dont love you, I don't care about your son. I am not supporting you I am taking you off my bank account and ending this.

i hung up

he text me from a friends phone....

i said

"i will give you what you want i cant make you love me, but you have used me for the whole marriage"

him " i am taking you off the bank account and you will have nothing from me"

Two days ago my husband told me how wonderful I am. For over 2 years I have waited by a phone just for 30 mins for a call. He has sent me nothing over the time we have been married. On valentine's day, i got nothing. On Mother's day nothing. Birthday, nothing. When I was with him he loved me more than life, I left 2 weeks ago to see my son off for the summer...now I get this..and the whole time..he was trying to get me pregnant.

This is what I have to look forward to. Me being faithful..My job is an Army wife..it always was..and i was a damn good one. He is stupid for letting me go..and believe me..I'm sure some other Soldier or Marine would love for me to wait on their calls...and I am hoping that someone on fu will be that guy, because I need a real one. A real man..I am done with this bullshit.

I got an I want a divorce over a text.

I have been away a while, dealing with rl matters. Fubar is a game, but in the process, sometimes we do make friends. True friends that don't want your money. That don't pocket what you can give them. That love you for every insane thing you say, and that don't judge you for the status that you post. I want to say thank you to my Number one friend. Also, Green. You know who you are. I may not get blinged alot, I may not get everything all the other girls do, but I do have one thing that people don't. At least 2 people that really care about me. Along with it, I have a heart..big enough for them, and whomever else that is good to me. I got fudivorced...dont really care..but part of the game to me, is not lieing. If you want something ask, if you need help, ask. If you want to be kind and something, do it. Karma is always there to give you back what you give. I do know this. No matter what..I will always be me...I will always have more than a level 40 ...that doesnt care about anything but a computer. I have my heart. And I love ..completely adore...that I have that.

First off, if you are a negative responder, please do not read this.  I really need care and love right now...Since August of last year, I have been bedridden due to being almost strangled to death and my back fractured. This has taken a tole on me. My husband is Active duty army, and was just told he is restarting after christmas exodus. So, I have to wait another half a year to see him. This is all very hard. This site is my world right now. It sucks that it is...but I can't go do things...so it honestly is. I care about my friends..and the people I love more than anything. I am broke as hell with all these bills, and cant do everything i want to do for people. But god, when someone does something for me..it means the world. I don't get autos much. I never have got a bomb as a gift. And the blings i get come from one person, whom i feel is wanting to walk away from me. I am really upset right now. I hve no one that really wants to just sit down and talk to me and make it better...Well, one person, but I am not their everything, so I just don't want bother them. I have been asking for the new limited addition blings becausei I need luck.  A lot of it. I pray every night. I cry every night. I hate that the guy that did this to me walks, and i am surrounded by a computer and a bed.  I have been thrown in the trash by so many people on here..it really bothers me. N o one cares enough to fight for me. Or my love. No one wants to give me everything ...the world...and make me smile..I feel almost worthless sometimes seeing what people do get...and I just sit back and watch. I hate asking, because people get mad, or i embarrass myself by asking to begin with. I would love it if someone just got to know me and really cared about how i feel. I would love to come on my page and see this list of autos like tons of my friends get....just for nothing. I would love to be able to be friends with those that are so caring to do so. If they are caring...cause i know some do just because of the naked or close to naked pics. I would love to be cherished again and know that i would not be let go of easy. I would love to smile all the time After these 11s,  mine are up. I dont know whyn ill get more...but i will always buy them from people..as i normally do...so they dont have to gift me. All i want is to be respected...cared about...and just..loved on sometimes. I feel really bad tonight. And I only really needed one persons attention. But they refuse to be here for me...whether they think it or not...i have made them mad by me being upset and me feeling disrespected. I don't know how that is possible , but i seem to manage to fuck up everything i touch or talk to. So anyways. I am going to go watch the page that never gets showered with love...and hope my heart feels better.

Our beloved Gothic Goddess has gone on fucation, she will not be running her account for a while. She has asked me to run her accout for her in her absence, so please continue to show her ALL the love you would normally show and I will do my best to return all the love you show her.(as her)  So come on everybody lets see if we can keep her shitfaced and make her level before she comes back!

Thank you all~

Jesse

I think back to the day

you utterly destroyed my soul

you held me down accross a couch

and strangled me till I wasn't whole

You took away my freedom to go

just jog away like you

You gave me a pain that wont go away

no matter what i do

You wanted to kill me

yet broke my back instead

now i lay at home

just waiting in my bed

Waiting for a miracle

for everything to be alright

trying to trust people i dont know

them using me in spite

Right now I wait for things to heal

or for surgery to come my way

Praying those things will happen for me

I look for another day

So when you think I'm down and out

and feeling all torn up and used

please remember that I am torn and tattered

literally stripped and bruised.

I wanted to raise you high

high above the angels in the sky

I wanted to make your world as perfect as it can be

but somehow that got passed by.

I wanted to protect you

to never let anyone stand in your way

I wanted to be the one that saved you in the darkest nights

and fulfilled your very day.

I wanted to kiss away your tears

only to bring a smile to your face

I wanted to take you away from the pain

and put you in a much happier place.

Now things are falling apart for you

I can't hold you up like I want to so bad

I know you would never leave

but not saving you is making me so sad.

Help me with my tears now

take the hurt I feel away

I thought I could make your life wonderful

yet the darkness was brought right into the day.

Before I start on this, I want all my friends to know I do love each and everyone in a different way. My top friends, I keep you close to my heart, even if I am not close to yours. You may have done something..just ONE thing ..that made you special..different from everyone else, but you are there because you had some heart in you at some time.

I am really beginning to feel like complete shit on here. I know it is a game. But do i have to be naked to play? I have two people that will go out of there way to really do things for me. I do not need to mention names, because the people that don't, know who they are. This is not an attack. This is me being really sad. I have serious things happen to me...no one does anything...a girl shows her breasts..she gets a hh. I can't lower myself to that...but it hurts to know i am playing a game...and trying to be a real friend...but no one wants that friendship. They want what i wont show. and it hurts. Just know, if you're on my list, get off if you are wasting my time. I'm deleting tomorrow. I'm tired of nothing. I give everything. And everyone that knows me, knows it. Thank you Greg today...and thank you Robert and Mike . I love you all.