I feel really great today because I have just discovered that, due to a mistake in the manufacture, I am smaller than was recently thought. It has to do with being suspicious of tight things that were once loose and now are tied with great struggle and pain around my body. We are talking about my 38B bra. So what. Well, all my adult life I have been 36A and then catastrophe struck because we went on an all inclusive to Goa. This was a quiet spot where not much pre-ambling was taken and consequently after three weeks of eating hotel food plus generally crashing out, the waistline decide to make itself felt. You know the expression Hips don’t Lie, well I have come to the conclusion that it is actually Zips Don’t Lie! (Bear with me because this has nothing to do with the bra.) They told me the truth last year and have been reminding me this year that all is no longer as it once was in the lower body department. Then I had brain surgery and could not do much of any sort of work for over a year due to the muscles on the skull being connected to the neck and shoulders. These are in turn connected to the arms which when used in exercise actually work the abdominals. All in all then It was a double wammy plus reaching menopause which gives the alleged middle age spread and indeed it does.
So anyway, I was forced to move into larger lingerie in both departments and so there was the 38B which nearly caused tears. However, I accept that you spread and not just in the middle so it was natural. Today however, I was nearly strangled by the pesky thing so knowing that I had lost some weight it must be telling lies. This was followed by a comparison and it turns out that you cannot believe what is on the label. 38B, pah, it is 36B. Now I feel better for not being so large, in fact I feel great for this little item of news. This only proves that Zips don’t lie and neither, it seems, do hooks and eyes. Well. Having got that off my chest I feel better and greater but not as great as I thought I was going to become. And if that does not make sense then does it matter. I am certainly glad not to have to go out and buy a 40B!!
