OK SO HERE IS MY FIRST BLOG ON C.T. LET'S SEE HOW THIS GOES...I AM STUCK IN BETWEEN A ROCKA DN A HARD PLACE...I AM IN LOVE WITH TWO PEOPLE AND ITS KILLING ME INSIDE. I KNOW EVERYONE SAYS THATS NOT POSSIBLE, BUT IT IS TRUST ME I KNOW. THE ONE THING IS IS THAT, ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND THE OTHER HAS TOLD ME NUMEROUS LIES THAT I BELIEVE AND I STILL THINK THAT THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT.
Another thing that I seem to be going through now is I have these 2 guys that are AWESOME!!!! They make me laugh and I can talk to them about anything pretty much. One of them lives here and the other lives north of me out of state. One I know I couldnt ever have anything with and the other I know something awesome could come from it. The problem? There are things about me that I am going through and trying to deal with on my own, because I know that I need to. But it makes it hard because I dont want to bring others into it and show that I am weak inside right now. I am a very strong person but almost always I dotn show my weak side. I know that is wrong, but I am and always have been like that. Why is it that when I say I dont want to talk about something it comes back to me that I am pushing people away even though I seem to tell them DAILY that they need to let me come to them? And when I try to go to them they are too busy and dont want to listen.
True friends respect me and what I have said. I know that, but when you feel for someone a certain way, what are you to do? I know I am only 24, but I have been through a lot more then most 30 yr olds have been through. If not more.
I am so confused right now. And I seem to keep hitting rock bottom day in and day out anymore.
If anyone has any thoughts on this please share them...
