1. Betrayal hurts - Not only the people who have been betrayed, but the people who have betrayed others and did not know it at the time.
2. Sometimes the peace you find when everything is quiet is more deafening than the silence of those you love
3. You don't ever get over losing a child...even 4 years after the fact
4. I've learned that when you think the worst things have happened to you, there is always a rainbow waiting to make you smile.
5. I spoil my friends. I always have. If you are close enough to me to be considered my good friend (and you know who you are) there is nothing I wouldn't do to help if I could. You may not open up to me as I open up to you and you may call me a sucker for always being there even if you don't need me, but I take the people I care about in my life very seriously and anyone who is important to them is important to me. I may mean nothing to you, but you hold a place in my life. All you have to do is call on me and I will be there any time of the day or night.
6. I've come to the conclusion that maybe my life is better off alone. If I even become attached to anyone either I will not trust them simply because I am very skeptical of people actually BEING monogomous, or because of the fact my ex would end up pitching a fit that I was in a relationship with anyone but him. God knows I don't need THAT kind of drama in my life
7. Sometimes you just have to break down and cry. When the last straw breaks and you don't feel like you can take it anymore and you just want to run screaming into the night even though no one hears you...it's ok to cry.
8. One of the best way to express you feelings is to write. Whether it is poetry, diary, songs, or just plain writing down all the feelings in your heart and your head. You need to express what is inside so that it can be dealt with, not just fester inside.
9. That last straw might be the simplest of things, but it might send you on a journey you never thought you would be on. Life changes in a heartbeat and then you find yourself miles from where you thought you would be...but it's an even better road than you wanted.
10. Your family can be your best support or your worst nightmare. It's not how you are to them that can change that. It's how they percieve you as an adult. You are who you should be. They can either accept it and love you for it or they can try to change it and never really know you at all.
11. I give up on all the heartache, headaches, pain, suffering, and sorrow of abusive relationships. Men who abuse women and women who abuse men need to be taken out and shot. They are all worthless and if anyone who has a problem with me saying that can go to hell! No one is the master of anyone else, we are all equal in this God forsaken world and if you can't be my equal, then you don't need to have anything to do with me or those I love!
12. The phrase "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" means nothing if you do nice things for people and treat them nice and they treat you like shit in return.
13. FAITH MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT TRUST!!!
14. Trust is the cornerstone of any true relationship. If you can't trust, there is no hope for the future. Move on to the next person you want and see if you can trust them. Without trust there is no love. Without love there is no hope. Without hope, all is lost.
15. No means NO! It doesn't mean ask why I came to that answer or to ask me 20 million different ways the same questions to see if one of them I will say yes. Pretty soon you are going to get stupid answers for repeat questions and then you will REALLY think I am insane.
16. Men are assholes. Women are bitches. Y'all say that like it's an insult!I am proud to be a bitch no matter what anagram you put with it. It means I am strong and dammit if I am going to get called a bitch because I am strong woman with my own damn opinions then fuck you all who can't deal with who I am.
17. To each his own - I don't care if you are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, transvestite, transexual, cross dressers, or hermaphrodites. You are all people and all have feelings. I don't care who you do or what you do (as long as it's not illegal) as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. I can still be your friend no matter what you think your hang ups are. You are human just like me and we all bleed just the same.
18. I am not broken. I am not sick. I am not twisted. I am not a whore. I am not every other name you call me. I am me. I do what I do because I think it is a good idea at the time. I do not try to hurt people. I do not try to make them feel like crap. I do not live my life to make you miserable and I'll be damned if I am going to be told what I have to do when I have to do it. I am an adult and I know where my limitations are.
19. Instead of causing another person pain I will walk away from them before they have a chance to get hurt. I will shoulder the pain because it is my heartache to bear, not theirs. I would rather have them hate me than to hurt their feelings even a little bit
20. If the eyes are the window to the soul, my soul has lived a thousand lifetimes that I can not remember. I see so much hurt and so much pain, but as soon as my walls go up I see only an empty void. I wonder if I will ever fill that void with happiness, but I have a feeling it is never going to happen.
The worst feeling in the world is the icey coldness that can creep into your soul when you least expect it. I have felt it more this past year than any other time in the past. I'm not sure why and I will probably never know, but the most important times in my life this year have left me cold and skeptical. I'm sure there is light for my future and I am sure one day I will find what my heart has been looking for in my friends or relationships or even with my family. I should be happy with my life at my age and I'm not. I'm scared of the future and what it might bring, but I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time like I always do and when my heart gets too heavy and it starts to hurt again I just need to write a poem or sing a song and hope all my emotions flows into the words so I can start to feel again.
"My Gift is my song...and this one's for you...you can tell everybody...this is your song...it may be quite simple...but now that it's done...I hope you don't mind... I hope you don't mind... that I put down in words...how wonderful life is now you're in the world" Soundtrack to the Moulin Rouge Directed by Baz Luhrman
