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All this shit rolling around in my head and in my heart and I cant seem to get it down on paper. the worst thing is that if I don't it will stay there until it drives me crazy if I don't get it out. I am Soooooooo Screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should be writing, I know I should but I have all this crap going on right now that is creating this mondo mental block that I can’t seem to get rid of. So I will just vent LOL. I’ve got all this crap up inside me but every time I try to put it down on paper it evaporates out of my mind. But when I am away from the computer or a pad of paper it flows through my head like a river, What the F**k is that all about. I love writing it is a great release of pent up emotion and frustration. So here I am rambling on about nothing because I am frustrated, sick and tiered of all this shit……………
Life is draining and sometimes it feels as if it could pull out our very souls. All of us drifting here alone and searching for that which makes us complete. Gripping onto the past so tightly, never really understanding that it is our past the keeps us from being free to find peace. Holding our breath until we would burst into a million peaces never to be retrieved again. The fragility of life is what makes it so precious and should not be wasted on moments in the past but relished and savored for the fleeting gift that it is. We are all here just for a moment make your moment count! ~*~Peace & Blessings~*~ Freedom Child
As the sun rises upon the long awaited new day and the darkness subsides. I see the road before me no longer riddled with the decay of life, now free and clear. I breathe in the fresh clean air of the day, with all the fervency of life. I greet the new day that promises hope and change, free and alive. The road my be long and sometimes riddled with potholes but only when you step outside of your self do you truly live your life in full.
Come over and see what I see. Don’t hold me here don’t hold me down let me free before I die. I still love you I just need time. Can I breathe will you let me. How long will you wait will you ever really see me. What holds you is fear, I will not leave you. I just won’t to fly free, I will return to you. Give me my wings show me you understand what I have become. You have nothing to fear I have changes but yet I am still the same everything you love is still here. The passion the wild in me every time you look in my eyes I know you see it don’t fear it, it will bring us freedom. Will I breath today, will my heart survive the night. Will you set me free to fly?
I'm so tiered of seeing what you see. I'm so tiered of being what you need me to be. I'm so tiered of whating on my dreams. I'm so tiered of you seeing right through me I'm so tiered of alway's being here for you. I'm so tiered of living in this house with you. I'm so tiered of feeling this way. I'm so tiered so please just go away.
Who knows what dreams will come, when all the world just disappears and all the once was wrong is set right again. the world may breath deep once more but It shall never be the same again. I open my eys to see the truth and only see you. Is it love that has crossed my path or is it just a fleeting moment ment to come and go...........
It does not feel as if I have anything anymore the weight of the world presses down upon me till I would die. No longer the person I wont to be and suffocating under the oppression of a life lived and yet not lived there are no wards to say how far I have come and how much farther I have yet to go… Walking down a path of thorns bleeding from inside out the tears no longer come. I can’t believe how much you have done to me. But yet I long to be only yours. You gaze on me gives me chills your touch make me feel so alive. But your word destroys me inside. And I think I would die locked up in this beautiful cage if not set free to fly.
I wont to run away, be free from all the pain that surges through these veins. hopeless from yeas of fighting to be myself, crawling my way back up only to be knocked back down again. just once in my life i would like to have whats mine. your not my enemy so why do you treat me so. tears are not something I will let you drag out of me anymore. Ive grown strong and hard from the years of battle with you. and you are losing you hold on me now. can you feel your grip slipping as you clutch me tighter? I will not be your toy any more and you are not my master
Thnx for the last 20 years Wow!! The last 20 years just flew by! I look back at all that we've been through and it amazes me that we are still standing here. There is only one explanation, GOD! Thank you Jesus!! For everything, for my husband Steve, I Love You Babe!! Without you none of this would be possible. You are my Hero!!!! My five children Ryan 20, Claire 19, Chris 18, Stephen 17, Britt 16, you guys are awesome! I Love You so MUCH!! My Dad Dennis you came into my life just in time. You showed me what a real man was. Thank you for being the father I always wanted, I Love You soooooo much! My Mom, you will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be the person I am today. Independent, Headstrong, Opinionated, Loving, Kind, a little Crazy and Wild (but aren't we all) and Strong…… The word Love is not strong enough for what I feel for you!!!!!!!!!! God I miss you! My Lil Sister, Damn your amazing! I wish I could have been there with you when you where growing up. Strong Independent, Beautiful, Smart as a whip, everything that I would have hoped for you. My Lil Bro Jacob, you turned out so cool I don't think I have ever met anyone like you God definitely broke the mold after you. I love you guys, I don't think you really know how it felt to be parted from you guy when you where so young. My Bro Daniel, We went through a lot together I don't think you will ever understand how much you hurt me. But even with all that has happened, I Love You and Miss you so Much! And I pray for the day you come home………………. There is one more person that I wont to mention In this. I don't think she really knows how much she really means to me. An amazing women, Beautiful, Smart, Headstrong, Stubborn , Loving , Kind, and just a little broken. But there is a fire in here that she lets people see only once in a while. Don't put that fire out Babe let it burn into an inferno. And we will watch it burn all the Pain away!!!!!! Autumn your my sister if not by blood, then by will. I Love You! To all my family that I did not mention I love all of you in uniquely different ways. You have all blessed my life and it would not be the same without you!!!! To all of my new friends, I thank you for walking down this road with me. I hope that it will be a long and happy one. And one day I will be able to look back on how rich you have made my life, with all the great memories of just being your friend.
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