My friend Jackie who I went to highschool with, (she was an underclassman)gave me a call and asked if i wanted to go to the diner with her for some coffee and cigarettes around 11pm. I thought hey, I have $10 in my pocket why the hell not.
So we go to this diner called the Double T diner. Now I stay away from the food in that place. 1. the name should pretty much tell you if I eat here, I should probably call an ambulance afterwards. 2. Most of the people I know who go there order the french onion soup. And ONLY the french onion soup. Even the french onion soup is intimidating and it kept threatening my coffee. It just sat there staring at it and told it that didn't know how to read, and I had to console my coffee by holding it and saying, there there...
You could tell it was the smoking section because the smoking section had a yellow ceiling and the other side had a white ceiling. There were patches of white but only to fill in gaping holes and other cosmetic damages. Don't be lazy just paint the whole ceiling! You have plenty of time because no one is buying your god damned food! The waitress didn't like me because I only ordered a cup of coffee and gave me the cold shoulder (brr). It's not my fault the word got out about your establishment!
We started talking about the high school days and what I did about this and that and what I said or did to this or that person, where they are now, etc, etc. Anyone that I said something to, or put in their place, liked me regardless. And I never understood that until now.
Me: I still don't understand why everyone liked me.
Jackie: Well you're a likable guy Joe.
Me: but....I'm a fucking asshole!
Jackie: That's why everyone liked you, they wanted to be like you.
Me: Now THERE'S a terrifying thought...
Jackie: Because you're the type of person who says what everyone's thinking, but they're too afraid to say it. And you don't take shit from anyone.
Me: ohhhhhhh.
We also discussed roxborough and how messed up that place was. We both moved out of there which is pretty funny. Not saying it's as brag worthy as saying "I survived cancer" or anything ( stop shaking your head) but to the people who actually make it out of there it's quite special. I also came up with the theory that the reason why roxborough is so messed up is because there was probably a nuclear power plant there long ago. It had a meltdown and the radiation seeped into the drinking water someone how, and that's why everyone is so fucked up ( I was going to go with a more polished word but I couldn't think of any that would describe it as best). That's why most of the girls there have huge overbites , and the bridge's of their noses are substantially bigger than most. Also, Their hair is so far pulled back where it looks like 2 inches of hair and about 5 feet of forehead. It's also the only place where you will see a 15 year old mother pulling her kid along in a wagon and the kid will be sitting on top of 2 beer cases. I'd take photos of all of this, but I'm afraid of startling them with the flash of the camera and making them run into moving vehicles. Going back to the diner:
Jackie also had a lovely encounter with a woman in the restroom who gave her some concrete advice: " Girl, whatever you do, NEVER get a bladder infection."
It was a very educational process and I hope I have enlightened you all. If you have a diner story or have discovered something about yourself while being in a diner, send it my way.
*edit* Someone should make a bulletin about how awesome I am! See! Told ya I'm an asshole :P
