civicboy95's blog: "what men want... sexually"

I can't speak for every man, but I can speak for every man that I have ever met.

 

 

85 percent of women reading will not like this blog and think I am a shallow asshole. Of course you 85 percent are also the ones at home alone right now wishing that guy would call you some other time than 2:15AM when the bar closes, he needs a ride somewhere or he needs to borrow money.

 

 

Or your home alone while your boyfriend/husband is "hanging out with the boys", often referred to as bending his secretary over the copy machine.

 

 

 

It's common knowledge that I like for a womans bra and panties to match if she is planning on getting naked for me. Here's the typical response to that.

 

Her: "Matching bra and panties, that's so shallow! I want him to be attracted to me for who I am, not focus on what I am wearing. Noah from The Notebook would never care about matching panties!"

 

 

Guess what, Noah isn't real and if he was he would be wearing assless chaps and holding hands with a man.

 

Two weeks ago I was out and a girl walked up to me and said "You are the guy that writes blogs aren't you? Just so you know this is what I think about your matching bra and panties…" followed by her very long middle finger.

 

 

Of course she is the same girl going home alone and watching Lifetime movies wishing a guy would call her.

 

Remember, I dont mean match them when you go to walmart, but if you know that I will be undressing you later tonight, why not pay attention to detail and look amazing as possible underneath it? The women that do this will stand out from the rest, I assure you.

 

 

Now in comparison to the bar middle finger girl who was probably wearing a old purple cotton bra and some yellow Hello Kitty underwear, look below at the woman who knows what men like to see and dresses accordingly…(this is from the photo shoot I talk about towards the end of the blog)

 

 

 

 

In case you ride the short bus and couldn't figure this out, she wins, every time.

 

 

Or in case you are saying "well if I had an ass like hers I would take pictures for my man too". Well to quote a good friend of mine who works hard for her perfect ass, "try lunges and squats instead of Days Of Our Lives and ice cream"...

 

Which that is a point I will just barely touch on but its important. Again, men are visual, him sending you a hand written card to work with flowers is like you having a great ass or flat stomach. If you dont want us to look at other girls when they walk by then put down the funnel cake, get in the gym and look like them.  

 

I know, I can hear it now, "Well I am going to be me, I'm not changing for a man." No one is asking to change who you are as a person, but we are asking you to make a conscious effort to be desirable and be in touch with what a man wants.

 

 

I think its funny, its ok for you to make this comment and say you aren't going to change but imagine if men did this. Let me tell you what your husband/boyfriend would do if he didn't make conscious efforts to be attractive to you.

 

 

He would sit on the couch wearing tightey whiteys with his balls hanging out of the side of them, he would let his gut get so big that he could use it as a cup and plate holder, instead of eating Cheeto's out of the bag he would dump them on his stomach and eat them(leaving the crumbs in the couch), he would watch porn a minimum of 6 hours a day, sports 6 hours a day, spend all his extra money on toys, never shave, scratch his ass and smell his fingers, naturally we are cave men, we are only socially acceptable because we have to be if we ever want to have sex.  

 

 

That is what a mans life would be like if he didn't have to worry about being desirable to women.

 

 

Instead we buy 300 dollar sport coats, we shave clean lines in our faces, we work out, we try to only watch porn when you are asleep or you aren't at the house(of course we wouldn't have to if we had our own porn star living with us, hint hint), we buy matching shoes based on jean, shirt and belt color, we watch bullshit movies with you, we wear cologne for you, we actually do something with our hair, we shower…

 

 

So how is asking you to make your bra match your panties any different?

 

 

Men are visual, that's how we are born, quit trying to fight it and use it to your advantage. Women, you have the most powerful force on earth, your sex appeal, you will always control the world with that. Why fight it, embrace it, perfect it and conquer mankind with it.

 

 

I think ever woman reading this should read that again:

 

 

Men are visual, that's how we are born, quit trying to fight it and use it to your advantage. Women, you have the most powerful force on earth, your sex appeal, you will always control the world with that. Why fight it, embrace it, perfect it and conquer mankind with it.

 

 

Would you like us to adapt the same mentality? "No way I am changing for her, she has to be attracted to me for who I am" immediately followed by farting in his hand in making you smell it?

 

So again, are we not changing for each other?

 

 

I recently met a woman who knew exactly what men wanted and she gave that to them. She didn't just do this for anyone, but when she decided to be in a relationship with someone she made it count, she made sure she kept her man's imagination on her, not the girls with great asses that walked by.

 

 

She knew how to make eye contact, she knew how to smile but not smile too much, she knew how to run her fingers on my skin when she walked by, she knew how to say disgustingly dirty things in my ear while standing in line at Wal-Mart, she knew how to be a lady when necessary and when to be a porn star when necessary, she's the kind of girl who could be having dinner with the queen and giving me a hand job under the table without anyone knowing, the kind of woman that will be remembered in the history books.

 

 

The kind of girl that tips the cab driver 20 dollars and says, "take the long way: and gives you a blow job in the cab, why? Because she knows it makes a bad ass story(which men love), she know it makes her look like the coolest chick on earth(which men love), she knows it makes the guy feel like she cant wait until she gets home to have him(which guys love), it makes her different than the other girls who would never do something just for the sake of it being what he desired.

 

 

For any woman calling her a whore right now, I can assure you that your boyfriend is currently wrapped up in saran wrap with the assistant manager of JC Penny's as you read this.  

 

 

There is nothing wrong with being a porn star for your man. Trust me, it's what all men want.

 

 

Certain women have qualities they are great at, taking care of the kids, keep a great house, bring home a great pay check, always have clothes ready, always have kids to school on time, but how many times do you hear of an affair happening because "dude, you wouldn't believe how promptly she folded clothes".

 

 

Doubtful.

 

 

Instead its "man this chick its obsessed with me, when my girl is bitching at me for fishing on Saturday, this girl is asking me if she can go fishing with me, bait my hook naked and blow me when the fish aren't biting".

 

 

Let me tell you some specific things that have happened to me that made me addicted to a woman. Literally couldn't get enough of her…

 

 

1. I dated a woman one time and at least twice a week she would call my desk phone at my office while she was cumming and leave quite a 3 minute show for me when I got to work. I can remember checking my voice mail at 8:30, having to adjust my khaki's and not being able to get her off my mind all day at work.

 

Do you think I stopped and had a beer with the boys on my way home? Yeah right, I went straight to her house with no regard for traffic violations, she made me crazy about her.  She made me ache for her. I literally focused on only her all day while at work….

 

 

2. I was with a woman for the first time, she always kept her pleasure in mind but did it in a way that would be desirable looking to me. She was in touch with what a man wanted, she knew that men have been watching porn since they were 15, she knows what the media sells, she knows what's ingrained in a mans mind. I would stand next the bed, her legs on my shoulders, me inside her, she would always squeeze and rub her tits, she would put her fingers on me when I slid in and out of her, she would tell me over and over again how fucking good my dick felt inside her, she would ask me if that's all I had and to fuck her harder, when she came she would arch her back and roll her eyes in the back of her head, she would straighten her legs and keep them that way for 15 seconds, who cares if it was exaggerated, its what I wanted to see, hear and feel. When I told her I was about to cum, she immediately got on her knees, squeezed her tits together and told me to cum all over them. I did and she used her hands and wiped me all over herself, tasting her fingers, one by one.

 

 

Pop quiz - Ladies, do you think I called her again? Do you think when I left I was thinking about other women? Pamela Anderson could have been looking for a ride and I would have told her my truck was full, see ya.

 

 

This is way sexier than "get a towel and get this off me" or "its running down my side, gross"…

 

 

Again, any woman out there thinking "whore" or "slut", please check your man's text message records, he is currently inside your best friend.

 

 

I can assure you, this is what men want in the bedroom.

 

 

3. I was with a woman one time, while we were in the casino cashier line she said "Get all 600 dollars worth of your chips in one dollar bills for when we get back to the hotel, I want you to fuck me in a pile of money and take pictures…" We get back and I cover the king size bed in bills, cover her in bills, I am literally pouring money on top of us and her while I am behind her. I felt like Scarface, it made a great story, it made something to talk about to each other, get excited about, pictures to look at later and remember how insane that trip was. Way better than just some pictures of us standing next to a monument, guys don't care and don't remember pictures next to monuments.

< P>

 

Do you think guys would rather have a picture of you wearing a fanny pack standing next to the Jefferson Memorial or this:

 

 

 

 

4. I was with a woman one time who was a blow job maniac, you would have thought she was diabetic and there was insulin on my dick. She was good, real good, not those weak blow jobs where they lick a few times, put it half way in and look up at you like "is that good enough?", or the ones without hand to mouth coordination and rhythm. I am talking about the kind that required gag reflex practice, the kind where your entire dick would disappear, the kind where when she took it out and that string of spit would string from her lips.

 

Seriously, you would have thought she was auditioning for the best blow job on earth with a grand prize of 2.2 Billion dollars every single time. One time I asked her why she did it, what she said is why she "gets it" and so many women don't.

 

 

She said, "Well I do it because you love them, they make you happy, they turn you on. I do them because last week you went shopping with me for 2 hours, you watched The Breakup with me for 2 hours and you helped me with study cards for 3 hours. So basically that's 7 hours of things that really weren't on the top of your priority list, I blew you 8 times this week at 15 minutes a piece, that's 120 minutes, 2 hours. I think that's fair…"

 

 

Women, she doesn't have any problem keeping a boyfriend.

 

 

5. I met a woman who I had immediate chemistry with via email. The kind of conversation that intrigues you, doesn't bore you. We texted and emailed for some time, never talking on the phone, but flirting and expressing an interest in one another. One night our conversation got very sexual, she told me that she would like to hear what I would do to her, I told her instead why don't I write word for word what the first time we meet would be like. It's been a very long time since I have put that much effort into writing a story, but that night it felt right. I spent roughly 1 ½ hours imagining, picturing, feeling, tasting, smelling what she would be like and wrote her a 6 page story about my thoughts. The kind of story where my hands were literally shaking half way through it and had to stop, it felt too real. Instead of sending it to her I called her while she was in bed and read it to her, she said hello and I began reading. This was our first time ever speaking on the phone, I could hear her breathing change and the sounds of her touching herself halfway through the story.  

 

 

In turn, she spent at least 4 hours, if not longer making something for me. Took a bath, washed her hair, put on make up, fixed her hair and took about 400 pictures of herself in just about every piece of lingerie she had. I'm not talking about lazy ass phone pictures in the mirror, I am talking about creative poses, creative faces, creative everything, it literally could pass for an actual Playboy shoot. This took time, effort, thought and sacrifice since she gave up her entire night to do this.

 

 

The minute I saw this I immediately lost interest in any woman within a 500 mile radius of me.

 

 

The examples could go on and on, but I'll stop.

 

 

The point is quit fighting what men want, even if you think its shallow, who cares, you can't change us, just adapt. Remember, anytime you think "I'm not going to wear these uncomfortable damn thongs" just remember me weighing 270 with Cheeto's stuck in my back hair.

 

 

Of course there are other things that men want than you to be their own personal porn star, but we will get into those some other day.