Bethy's blog: "What do I do it all for"

Well I have decided now that I am happily in love with this amazing guy to move with my family to Kansas. And to my suprise he is willing to come along with me. I couldnt be more happier in my life than I am right now. Even though at this moment he is about 300 miles away from me he still calls an tells me he loves me. I couldnt ask for a better man in my life. Gotta love them Juggalo's.

I wonder some day to why I do what I do. I've been puttin my self through pain an sorrow an it feels like its for nothin. I cant seem to catch a break. Its gettin harder for me to breath an even harder for me to wanna live. I am lost in all that is my life. I fight the urge to cry. I have two options to either keep the man who says he loves me or my best friend whom i have loved for years. Its all so confusing my mental abusing. I am lost in this world that I call my life. What do I do it all for????