Sometimes I wonder
Why you want me here?
You vent your anger out on me
Behind closed doors where only I can see
People think you are wonderful
And thoughtful and kind
If they only knew what you were inside
The way you talk to me
I really donít understand
You talk to me like I am below you
Has our love faded away?
Is this who you really are?
You say that I cause you to be this way
For you to get mad and cuss me
And push me down, out of your way
When you get mad
I think you just see red
Do you know what you do and say?
You say things when you are mad
You know what you say makes me sad
It doesnít bother you that I sit and cry
All you say is go find another guy
You say that you are the best for me
No one else would want to put up with me
I donít understand why you say the things you say
And why you do what you do
You always have an excuse for what made me fall
It is always my own fault
That is what you say
If I had just stayed out of your way
I never know what will make you mad
One minute happy
The next one sad
This is not what I wanted in a marriage
Thatís for sure
I wanted to find love
I guess what I think is love
Is so twisted and warped
Because I keep staying with you
You say that if I had just kept my mouth shut
This would not have happened
That itís all my fault
I should not have spoken
Do you understand what it is like to live like this?
To be scared of someone getting pissed?
You are not the person that I once dated
Who would hold me and promise me the world
You knew I was in an abusive relationship before
You said I would never have to worry about abuse anymore
What about last night when you pushed me in the floor?
It doesnít matter to you what you have always said or promised
It was just words to you
Stupid me, I thought you were being true
You always say, you are better then the first
I know it can get much worse
But why should I have to live this way
In fear of making you mad every day
You need to look inside yourself and really see
All the things you have done to me
Do I really deserve to be pushed or hit?
You think everything should go your way
Or you will throw a hissy fit
If I disagree with what you say
Is that really a good reason to say the things you say?
When you get mad
Do you even realize the things you do?
You leave me feeling sad and empty inside
Your anger is what is tearing us apart
I am tired of being hurt and being sad
I am sick of you always being mad
Why are you like this now?
You didnít use to be
Or maybe you were and I just didnít see
You treat me like I was treated before
Always an excuse, why I got hurt
I didnít get out of your way
I think its time you should take the blame
It keeps happening over and over
Its all still the same
I donít understand your view on marriage and life
I think you donít even want me as a wife
I keep thinking things will get better
Because I know we have our good times too
But I canít keep doing what I am going through
You shouldnít take your anger out on me
I canít handle it anymore
Donít you see?
Iím tired of living this way
I am happy no more
My heart is just sore
I am tired of going through this
I know this is not how it is supposed to be
So now I ask why
Why do you always take your anger out on me?
What happened to the words you spoke so long ago?
I asked would you ever treat me like this
And your answer was NO!
What has changed between then and now?
March 11, 2008