THIS SOLDIER CANT TRUST NOONE's blog: "WHAT 2 DO"

Life Lessons Never tell a guy "it's just a game" Dating is awkward, but so is becoming a loser like me Anyone is capable of anything given the right motivation Always wear comfortable underwear Some things never come back in style *TLC* If your parents promise you money, WRITE IT DOWN Never under estimate stupid people Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Never wear the same pants three days in a row, no matter how many times you wash them Never refer to him/her as "my future ex" *TLC* Always make sure your parents aren't watching Behind every great man there is an even greater woman kicking him in the ass and telling him what to do Never run away from your fears. Unless it's a wasp.

Do's: Do: create a free email to safely and secretly store and send information Do: hide a self timing camera behind something if you are suspicious of someone Do: use your pillowcase to hide things in Do: use your gym locker to hide things in, not your regular one Do: think outside the box. Think of what your parents would do is they were suspicious of you; where would they look to check for hiding spots? Do they have access to your letters or your diary? Those are probably the first places anyone would look if they wanted to see what you are up to. Do: hide hints for passwords in pictures that you can post around your room. Just don't make them to obvious Do: sew an extra pocket on the inside of you jacket. Do: cut a square patch out of your carpet. But only cut on three sides so that it's like a flap. You can hide bad test grades, important papers, or memorabilia under there. Don'ts Don't: ever tell anyone what you are doing, no matter how tempting it is. Don't: assume your parents won't look to see what you've been doing Don't: ever use the "remember me" option when you log into something personal or secret Don't: use the same password for everything Don't: give away little hints to make your siblings or parents suspicious Don't: write in a dairy or journal; use a password locked computer or a tape recorder instead Don't: keep all you information on one disk or memory key; have a back-up ready of necessary Don't: give your parents your friend's parents' numbers; use an alibi

replace green or yellow fruit drink (like gatorade)with pickle juice. use color dye if necesssary. put a bright color dye in a bottle of hairspray. shake well.(only works on blondes) hide your camera in a persons room and put it on a self timer. make sure it's on silent mode, or else it may go off and beep when it runs out of tape or battery. then you'd be screwed put salt and a couple ice cubes in your friend's starbucks cup. this should make them gag or puke like crazy. instead of putting whipped cream on a person's hand when their sleeping, try using honey. that's much more fun. put something really stinky (like a shoe or cheese) in the airvent. just unscrew it and put back again. your victim will never know what hit them. slip some powdered benefiber into any meal. within one day results will show. you can also add some of that benefiber or any other pill to someone's protein powder drink mix. V8 juice + hot sauce = total blow out having a bowl of cream of wheat every morning for one week will give anyone the shits for days. lots of bran muffins and coffee together will do the same thing. cut almost all, but not all the stitches on the bottom of a girl's purse. that way, when they put one more thing inside their bag, it will fall through. if you know someone who recently got a girl or guy's number, delete it from their phone book. but i wouldn't recommend doing this unless you really hate this person. coke + mento = explosion. close the cap within 1 second of dropping in the mento or you'll be the one getting splattered.

101 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart *This page is a work in progress, so it does not yet have 101 ways. but, i'm working on it. really i am. in a few days i should have all 101 on here. just be patient...* i've written a guide on how to get kicked out of Walmart. It's going to be a novel. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. I have absolutely no idea. But anyways, here it is-all the possible ways to get kicked out of walmart enjoy! 1. Go onto the intercom and yell "BUSH! IT'S BUSH! Oh, wait-that's my mom-my bad!" Tell them to kick you out. 2. Put chocolate pudding all over the bathroom walls, walk out, and say, "Oops, I kinda missed." 3. When I girl wants a barbie doll, run up to her, grab it out of her hands, and go. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him or her in an official tone "We've got a code 3 in Housewares" and see what happens. 5. play with the automatic doors. 6. Go on the intercom and yell "OH MY GOD! IT'S CODE BLUE! EVERYONE CODE BLUE! SUBSECTION D, CHAPTER 48!" 7. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive 8. Get on the mechanical horse thing, turn it on, and go "WOOHOO! I A COWBOY! YEEEHAAAA!" and kick a passer by from atop your plastic steed. 9. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, jump on it & go "WOW!Magic!" 10. plug the toilets and sinks to make them overflow. 11. When the guy at the door asks for your receipt yell "Bite me oldie!" or say some other kind of insult and run. 12. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around the store shouting at random people "I'm BATMAN! Come Robin, to the batcave!" 13. Randomly throw things into neighboring aisles. 14. Take all the pillows in the pillow section and distribute them throughout the entire store. 15. Make a line of fruit through the registers, out the exit, and down 2 blocks. 16. Bring in a garbage bag full of leaves and prance around like a fairy while littering them on the floor. 17. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the bathrooms and claim you had an accident 18. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 19. Run around with a grim reaper costume jumping out from the aisles. try to hit the ceiling with apples. 20. Change into one of their swimsuits and model it down the aisles like a runway. 21. Get a bottle of liquid detergent and pour it into giant puddles. 22. Get a skateboard, sled, or something flat and slide through the detergent 23. When an announcement comes on over the loudspeakers, assume a fetal position and scram "NO! IT"S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! AHHH!" run around screaming until the employees kick you out. 24. Take a cup or something like that, go to a water fountain, and pour the water all over yourself and the floor while saying "LOOK, IT'S RAINING!" 25. Take a Nerf gun from the shelves, open it, and shoot the missiles at people who walk by. 26. Jump on the check out belt and say "You didn't say hi to me! WTF is wrong with you? what ever happened to hospitality? What is this world coming to?" 27. if someone does say hi to you start shouting crazy insults at them. 28. Go up to random people and give them hugs. If you see a big muscley guy, hold on to him and repeatedly yell "Help! I'm being kidnapped!" 29. find a busy aisle, listen to your ipod, and start krumping in the midst of everyone with your eyes closed. 30. Go up to customers or employees and kick them. 31. kick some one in line for the cash register and point at the person behind you. Then you watch the fun begin. ;) 32. ride your skateboard through the store and stop for no one! 33. Stand up on a table with merchandise on it and start singing a song you know really bad. 34. If an employee asks you if you need help, moon them and run away as fast as you can. 35. if there's a rolling staircase in an aisle, spin it around and take it for a test drive. 36. Go up to somebody when their not looking and pinch them in the butt. 37. Put on the women's lingerie over your clothes, stand on something, and start dancing wildly. 38. make a bucket of fake puke at home, bring it into the store, and pretend to throw up all over the place. 39. If you see al little kid crying, open up a package of cookies and throw some to the kid when the mom's not watching. Throw the rest at the cashiers. 40. Pretend to act like a manikin and scare people when they walk by. 41. Redress the male manikins in underwear and bras. 42. Open as many bananas as you can carry and dance around the store acting like a frantic monkey. 43. take some whipped cream, open it, spray it on your mouth and go "I am a crazy rabid squirrel! I WANT MY COOKIES!" 44. Take a fire extinguisher and run up to an employee yelling "FIRE! FIRE IN AISLE 2! HELP ME TOM CRUISE!" 45. Break a bunch of things and say "We have 24 hours to fix this! Can we do it?" then have your friend say "Yes we can!" 46. Wear a thong on your head and go up to the employees singing "I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! ALL YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY..." 47. Go up behind someone of the opposite gender and start singing "SMACK THAT, ALL ON THE FLOOR, SMACK THAT GIVE ME SOME MORE doing all the moves. Tell the person that you wanna be like Michael Jackson. 46. Open a pack of markers and draw a mural on the wall. 47. Open a stack of paper and make paper airplanes out of them. Then run around throwing them at people making all the childish sound effects. 48. Flip off the manager if he or she walks by. 49. Grab a pair of sunglasses, go up to a random person, and hold onto their cart. Say really loud "I don't see why you're so embarrassed about my cane. Why won't you ever let me bring it? Why don't you like my cane?" 50. do the same thing with the sunglasses & the yelling, but then veer off in another direction and knock things over. See how much you can get away with before they kick you out-or until they find out you're not blind. 51. Go into a big crowd of customers and start hyperventilating really dramatically. Then pretend to pass out. 52. Try on all the display glasses. Dramatically throw the ones you don't like behind you so they'll hit people. 53. Lick the storefront windows. 54. go up to an employee, hold your crotch, and say "i gotta go wee wee!" dance around like a maniac and harass him or her until they kick you out. 55. try on all the little girls dress up stuff (like a feather boa,a hat, & a wand) and dance around saying "Look! i'm a little fairy princess!"

474 Things To Do When You're Bored - Wax the ceiling - Rearrange political campaign signs - Sharpen your teeth - Play Houdini with one of your siblings - Braid your dog's hair - Clean and polish your belly button - Water your dog...see if he grows - Wash a tree - Knight yourself - Name your child Edsel - Scare Stephen King - Give your cat a mohawk - Purr - Mow your carpet - Play Pat Boone records backwards - Vacuum your lawn - Sleep on a bed of nails - DON'T toss and turn - Boil ice cream - Run around in squares - Think of quadruple entendres - Speak in acronyms - Have your pillow X-rayed - Drink straight shots...of water - Calmly have a nervous breakdown - Give your goldfish a perm - Fly a brick - Play tag...on West 35th Street - Exorcise a ghost - Exercise a ghost - Be blue - Be red - But don't be orange - Plant a shoe - Sweat - Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil - Turn - Write a letter to Plato - Mail it - Take your sofa for a walk - Start - Stop - Dial 911 and breathe heavily - Go to a funeral...tell jokes - Play the piano...with mittens on - Scheme - Sit - Stay - Water your family room - Cause a power failure - Roll over - Play dead - Find a witch - Burn her - Donate your brother's body to science - Ask why - Wriggle - Regress - Sleepwalk without sleeping - Try to join Hell's Angels by mail - Wonder - Be a square root - Ask stupid questions - Weld your car doors shut - Spew - Vacation at Three-Mile Island - Surf Ohio - Teach your pet rock to play dead - Go bowling for small game - Be a monk...for a day - Wear a sweatband to your wedding - Staple - Run away - Intimidate a piece of chalk - Abuse the plumbing - Bend a florescent light - Bend a brick - Annoy total strangers - Let the best man win - Believe in Santa Claus - Throw marshmallows against the wall - Hold an ice cube as long as possible - Adopt strange mannerisms - Blow up a balloon until it pops - Sing soft and sweet and clear - Sing loud and sour and gravely - Open everything - Balance a pencil on your nose - Pour milk in your shoes - Write graffiti under the rug - Embarrass yourself - Grind your teeth - Chew ice - Count your belly button - Sit in a row - Stack crumbs - Gesture - Save your toenail clippings - Make a pass at your blender - Punt - Make up words that start with X - Make oatmeal in the bathtub - Search for the Lost Chord - Chew on a sofa cushion - Sing a duet - Balance a pillow on your head - Hold your breath - Faint - Stretch - Flash your mailman - Teach your TA English - Learn to speak Farsi - Swear in Russian - Use an eraser until it goes away - Disassemble your car - Put it together inside out - Record your walls - Interview your feet - Make a list of your favorite fungi - Sell formaldehyde - Repeat - Ad lib - Fade - File your teeth - Whine - Rake your carpet - Re-elect Richard Nixon - Critique "Three's Company" - Listen to a painting - Play with matches - Buff your cat - Race ferrets - Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange - Have a formal dinner at White Castle - Read Homer in the original Greek - Learn Greek - Change your mind - Change it back - Watch the sun...see if it moves - Build a pyramid - Stand on your head - Stand on someone else's head - Spit shine your Nikes - See how long you can stay awake - See how long you can sleep - Paint your teeth - Wear a salad - Speak with a forked tongue - Paint stripes on a lake - Ski Kansas - Sleep in freefall - Kill a Joule - Test thin ice...with a pogo stick - Apply for a unicorn hunting license - Do a good job - Crawl - Invite the Mansons over for dinner - Paint your windows - Watch a watch until it stops - Flash your goldfish - Paint - Flirt with an evergreen - Smile - Rotate your garden...daily - Paint a smile - Shoot a fire hydrant - Apologize to it - Pretend you're blind - Annoy yourself - Get mad at yourself - Stop speaking to yourself - Be a side effect - Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley - Duck - Redecorate...your garage - Develop a complex - Join the Army...be someone simple - Try harder - Hit the deck - Put leg-warmers on your furniture - Cut the deck - Crumple - Translate Shakespeare into English - Skydive to church - Cheer up a potato - Do aerobic exercises...in your head - Play cards with your swimming pool - Pinstripe your driveway - Play Kick the Fire Hydrant - Harness chipmunk power - Build a house with ice cubes - Call London for a cab - Mug a stop sign - Change your name...daily - Go for a walk in your attic - Challenge your neighbor to a duel - Build a house out of toothpicks - Howl - Wear a lampshade on your head - Memorize the dictionary - Stomp grapes in the bathtub - Find a bug and chase it - Make yourself a pair of wings - Be immobile - Dance 'til you drop - Check under chairs for chewing gum - Squish a loaf of bread - Moo - Bounce a potato - Outmaneuver your shadow - Climb the walls - Appreciate everything - Challenge yourself to a duel - Make napalm - Tattoo your dresser - Watch a bowling ball - Buy some diapers - Eat everything - Begin - Pour milk in the sink - Make cottage cheese - Tie-dye your sheets - Carpet your ceiling - Hold your earlobes - Fold your earlobes - Flap - Squawk - Read tea leaves - Analyze the Koran - Be Buddha - Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize - Plug in the cat - Turn on everything - Drop pebbles down the chimney - Turn off your neighbor - Kill a plant - Buy a 1931 Almanac - Memorize the weather section - Think lewd thoughts about yourself - Blow bubbles - Send chills down your spine - Peel grapes - Make paper from the skins - Bloat - Catch them with your radiator - Get run over by a train of thought - Make up famous sayings - Bite your pinkie - Get your dog braces - Shave a shrub - Have a proton fight - Watch a car rust - Quiver - Rotate your carpet - Learn to type...with your toes - Set up your Christmas tree in April - Be someone special - Buy the Brooklyn Bridge - Mail it to a friend - Go back to square one - Factor your social security number - Take the fifth - Memorize a series of random numbers - Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages - Join the Foreign Legion - Learn Sanskrit - Exist...existentially, of course - Print counterfeit Confederate money - Kick a cabbage - Take a picture - Put it back - Sandpaper a mushroom - Play solitaire...for cash - Abuse your patio furniture - Run for Pope - Count to a million...fast - Make a schematic drawing...of a rock - Commit seppuku...with a paper knife - Revert - Think shallow thoughts - Starch your shoes - Polish your Calvin's - Contemplate a cockroach - Get a dog to chase your car - Let him catch it - Investigate the Czar - Form a political party - Climb a sidewalk - Have a political party - Get diagonal...with a good friend - Ride a loaf of bread - Sharpen a carrot - Interrogate a gerbil - Go bow hunting for Toyotas - Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids - Jump back - Play to lose - Scalp a street light - Have your car painted...plaid - Read a tomato - Sharpen your sleeping skills - Watch a game show...take notes - Put out a fire - If you can't find a fire, make one - Interview a cloud - Play tiddlywinks...go for blood - Play basketball...in a minefield - Don't talk to things - Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling - Have your cat bronzed - Have your gerbil gilded - Write books about writing books - Create random equations - Mispell words - Tell your feet a joke - Throw a tomato into a fan - Sing the ABC song backwards - Pretend you're a dog - Dial-a-prayer and argue with it - Grease the doorknobs - String up a room - Stack furniture - Relive fond memories - Tie your shoelaces together - Gargle - Count your teeth with your tongue - Decay - Find your half-life - Design a better toilet seat - Shred a newspaper - Have a headache - Scratch - Sniff - Hatch an egg - Play air guitar - Act profound - Spill - Spell - Stare - Truncate - Slouch - Develop hearing problems - Put your feet behind your head - Tie bows in everything - Hold your hand - Watch the minute hand move - Grow your fingernails - Pretend you're a telephone - Ring - Radiate - Skip - Play hopscotch...with real scotch - Clock the velocity of your REMs - Put your shoes on the opposite feet - Cross your toes - Roll your tongue - Crystallize - Baby oil the floor - Hide - Attack innocent bunnies - Declare war - Destroy a tree - Hide the scrabble bag - Seduce your stick shift - Wink - Memorize the periodic table - Mummify - Pretend you're a roadie - Buy a Ginsu knife - Collect electrons - Correct typos that aren't there - Polish your neck...use Pledge - Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God - Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car - Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet - Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes - Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture - Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending - Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk") - Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother - Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong - Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail - Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire - Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before - Walk on water...but don't get caught - Confess to a crime...that didn't happen - Be in the wrong place at the right time - Plot the overthrow of your local School Board - Request covert assistance from the CIA - Discover the source of the Mississippi - Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska - Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes - Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is - Drink as much prune juice as you can - Write a book about your previous life - Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres - Jump up and down...on your alarm clock - Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins - Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels - Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow - Drive the speed limit...in your garage - Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final - Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna - Pay off the national debt...with a bad check - Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people - Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas - Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes - Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster - See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement - Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English - Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good - job they're doing...On April 1st - Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor - Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them - Turn your TV picture tube upside down - Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy - Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets - Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks - Be planar...but don't tell your parents - Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck - Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed - Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed - Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese - Debate politics with a fern - See how small you can scrunch your face - Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis - Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization) - Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation - Raise professional certified racing turnips - Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation - Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U. - Go to a drive-in movie in a tank - Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway - Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first - Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch - Send your goldfish to obedience school - Free the oppressed toasters of America - Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing - Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave - Park your car...with a friend - Park your car...with a group of friends - Frame your first statement of bankruptcy - Place it on the wall of your office - Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x) - Contribute to the population problem - Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign - Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor - Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife - Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway - Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night - Play with anything that looks interesting - Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first - See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water - Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work - Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up - State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes") - Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design - Make a schematic drawing...of a rock - Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like - See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house - Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while - See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green - Bronze your sister's turtle - See how long it takes for her to notice - See what she does when she notices - Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again. - Increase your territorial holdings by force - Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat - Boldly go where no man has gone before - Be a threat to the American way of life - Do research into the cause of World War III - Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life - Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh