GABE's blog: "WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM"

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss

 program.

 The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a

 voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of

 Nike

 running shoes and a sign around her neck.

 She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

 The

 sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

 Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later

 huffing

 and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next

 four

 days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself

 and is

 delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

 He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next

 day

 there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning,

 beautiful,

 sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but

 Reebok

 running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me

 you

 can have me".

 Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in

 excellent

 shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four

 days, the

 same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better

 shape.

 Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he

 discovers

 that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for

 broke and

 calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

 "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most

 rigorous program."

 "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

 The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds

 a

 huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes

 and

 a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."

 He lost 63 pounds that week.