My wife (who is blonde) came running up to me in the driveway the other day...just jumping for joy!
I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought: "what the heck?", and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about."
She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was ecstatic! We'd been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said "Oh, honey. There's more!"
I asked, "What do you mean 'more?'"
She said, "Well, we're not having just ONE baby. We're going to have TWINS!"
Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh,.........
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box
