We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier .And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and Iwas dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones..They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up theyjust keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent messageuntil they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the otherhand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an oldfriend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognizeme.I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair thismorning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection…well, REALLY NOW -even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life andlimb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can sayis, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech andswerve in my rear view mirror.Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would theysuddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think noone notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank.Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! Iwould never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people thinkthey're fooling?I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- butthe telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phonebooks in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!
