The dating laws....
This law is simple. It is something I have put together over the years. Things I have learned from personal experience, watching, talking and listening to others. Although most girls do not agree with this, it has been proven time and time again. Yet, there are very few exceptions. Before I get into the Law itself, let me explain a few things about who the Law affects the most. The nice guys.
The nice guy..
Many guys believe they are that typical "nice guy?? but I feel its fair to only allow that title be awarded to those of us who have been through hell and found our own way back..
The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. The guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny
/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. The guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. The guys who respect a girls every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
The guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned.
Being the guy who gets 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you know her boyfriend is a douche bag and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. Being the guy who gets a phone call at 4AM about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you dragged yourself out of bed, and did a few sets of push ups to wake up, and then helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. Being the guy that gets a phone call the time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "Oh, but were just friends!!?? And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that..
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due.
The asshole..
The asshole. The jerk. The cheater. The guy, who knows all the rules, but follows none of them. He is reckless and cares for no one but himself, yet he has more girls after him than the nice guys can fathom. He makes more girls cry than the lifetime channel, and feels no remorse. The guy who skips out on his girlfriend of 2 years on their anniversary to go get drunk with his buddies. The guy who doesn't remember his girlfriend's middle name, or birthday, yet swears he loves her, or at least that's what he told her their first night together. The guy who only calls his girl back when he wants some. The guy who won't hold her hand in public, or introduce her as his girlfriend, even though they have been together for 4 months, they are "just friends.?? The guy who doesn't wish you good luck or help her study for that big exam she has been freaking out about for the last 2 weeks. The guy who it doesn't matter how bad he screws up, or who he screws, the girl always goes back to, for reason unknown to everyone (This in itself is one of the great mysteries of life..)
The girl..
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as oh, he's too nice to date or he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out! Or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship. Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I cannot figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. Because as soon as most girls start thinking like this, the nice guys become sick of losing, and become bitter and turn into the assholes.
To the nice guys.., until you are found by those girls who simply look through your eyes instead of into them, I propose a toast. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You are the reason I worked long and hard to use my professional experience, and intelligence to bring you THE DATING LAW OF EVOLUTION. To hopefully give you that edge you need. To help you to not break the rules, but find ways around them, to bend them, and find loopholes. To give you the heads up of what is going on around you, and what the future may hold. To give you hope in a world that you have found none, yet hold on tighter than ever. You do have credibility in this society, and your well-deserved vindication is coming.
