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Jake from State Farm's blog: "Stories"

created on 07/14/2010  |  http://fubar.com/stories/b334367

Wandering Man 1.25

Wandering man is 4 years old and visiting his cousins. Two  male cousins Ken & Randy. Both are country bumpkins, which is to say when they are bored, rest assured, it won't last long. Randy the older cousin always had something to do and a place to go. He gathered up some wood and made his own hide-out. But that comes later.

Ken & Wandering Man were closer to age and that suited them fine. Perfect partners in crime, Ken convincing Wandering Man get into plenty of trouble and @ 4 years old. It did not take much convincing.

Wandering Man is an early riser always have been, much to Roberta's dismay. Well, Ken isn't an early riser but since Wandering Man is here, there is plenty to do. Who is to say what goes on in 4 year old minds? They thought it would be great to run around outside naked, avoiding cars & trucks as they drive by. (It is a small town, population 1,200. not much traffic @ 7 am) The road wasn't paved, still compacted dirt so there was no sidewalks only ditches & shrubs. Since it was still winter, it wasn't very warm out anyhow. Wandering Man & Ken did not think this out thoroughly. Running barefoot on cold dirt, rocks and into shrubs naked wasn't the best idea. Being 4 years old, they did not remember to check the door because they got locked out. Now, they realize the trouble they're in. Having to knock on the door to wake up their mothers, they had no choice. "What were you thinking going ouside naked?! In the wintertime!" a slight open hand spanking did the trick. Ken & Wandering Man accepted their punishment, as if they knew worse spankings were coming. Now that the mood is set for rest of day, the mothers upset with their male children, told them to take a bath. Basically out of sight, out of mind and how much trouble can they get in the bathtub?

Times were lean back then. Often the men had to hustle to get some grub on the table, which always amazed Roberta. her brother-in-law Eddie earned the name Fast Man. If you needed anything and wanted it quick, you called Eddie and he'd have it for you within the hour. Eddie was gone fishing, months for this trip. So groceries were low and so was the expendables. Toilet paper was low. Ken & Wandering Man was taking a bath, the roll was there and it accidently got wet. Well,a couple of 4  year old boys and wet toilet paper thrown all over the place is the neatest thing ever. It splattered nicely on wall, ceilings, which took several tries for small arms couldn't throw high enough. Not to mention the water all over the floor mixed in with toilet paper. Great times for Ken & Wandering Man...until the mothers walked in to view the damage.

Bare butts & metal egg turners makes for good punishment. 3 whacks and they were well behaved for the rest of the day.

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