15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
>>
>> 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts
>> when they aren't looking.
>>
>> 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
>>
>> 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
>>
>> 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
>> ' Code 3' in housewares .... and see what happens.
>>
>> 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
>>
>> 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>>
>> 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers
>> you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
>>
>>
>> 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
>> 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>>
>> 9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
>> pick your nose.
>>
>> 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if
>> he knows where the anti- depressants are.
>>
>> 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
>> "Mission Impossible" theme.
>>
>> 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
>> different size funnels.
>>
>> 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"
>>
>> 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
>> fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
>>
>> ( And; last, but not least!)
>>
>> 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
>> then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
