For most of my professional career I've represented kids in child abuse and neglect cases.  From time to time, the judges will appoint me to represent the best interests of the kids in custody disputes.  The abuse and neglect cases often leave me heartbroken, but the custody cases usually leave me angry and frustrated.  So, here's a little message for divorcing parents.  I've gone through a divorce.  Our kids were all grown at the time and I was blessed to have a reasonable and deeply spiritual woman as a spouse.  The two of us remain good friends.  In fact, she's still my administrative assistant.  Yes, I was a lucky guy, but I understand how painful a divorce is.  

Here's the deal.  I can't tell you how many parents I've dealt with who are stubbornly unwilling to let go of their own resentments.  In cases like these, the parents allow their own bittnerness and their own need for self affirmation to result in a scorched earth, no survivors, winner take all dogfight.  If you're one of these people, grow up, stop your nonsense, find a  therapist (there are good ones), and keep you kids blissfully unaware of your own character defects.  You might be surprised that focusing on the needs of your kids might just bring peace of mind to you.  

Since so many of us (I'm not excluding myself necessarily) find it difficult to negotiate the complicated waters of two dimensional communication, I decided that I would work on a lexicon for all my friends, family (once I've figured out what that means here), and those with whom I attempt to strike up a conversation.  I'll be adding entries as the need arises.  Eventually, I'll bring some order to the presentation.

1. "I'd like to get to know you":  This phrase is not an umtimely reference to the lyrics of a bad 60s folk tune.  When I use the phrase it means that I would like to take the time to find out who you are.  The key element is time spent.  Of course, there is no way to measure the appropriate amount of time required to get to know you.  Please note:  the phrase does not mean:  I'd like to meet you in a sleezy motel room, have sex with you for a few hours, and then disappear.  If I were to want such things, I'd just say "I'd like to meet you in a sleezy. . . etc.

2. "Wanna chat sometime":  Look, I didn't come of age in the last decade.  When I was working through my 20s, cell phones were the size of watermelons (not the shape, but definitely the same atomic weight).  So, when I ask if you'd like to chat, that generally means:  "would you mind if I gave you a call sometime".  Again, there is no objective timeline here.  However, I usually don't utter this phrase until we've corresponded (see, there's a baby boomer term for ya) enough to see if we might like one another well enough to actually send vocal sounds in each other's direction.

Beauty is only skin deep.  What a crock of shit.  First of all the skin is just a portal to the soul.  Beauty transcends the skin.  Beauty is in a look, a well timed smart assed remark, a playful squeeze, a lusty growl.  Beauty is the captivation of the neocorex.  Beauty makes you do what you never thought you would or could do.  Beauty turns you into a cognizant, insanely driven animal.