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What are you waiting for?
Well Fubar it has been almost a year now since I shocked my system and as I am still recovering from all of that I have kind of worn myself down.Life isn't all bad now.However I am still living in an old system which caused me to break in the first place.I live in a place where I just can't find my place.Still having to deal with old systems that have me over a barrel.Although I have several close friends something is missing.Its the one piece that I have been looking for for a year now,companionship with a significant other..It was one of the main reasons I left my X in the first place.LONLINESS!!!For someone who is as outgoing as I am I just can't seem to put it together in that area of companionship although I deeply feel that if I could connect in that area everything else would fit.My biggest problem still is the fact that I don't really fit anywhere which makes filling in the blank spots difficult.I have 16 more months here and no I am not in prison or anything of the kind.Talking about where I live.Although I am looking forward to fully starting over in a place already designated I have to endure in a place I have come to hate more than you could possibly know.Right now I have to get ready for a block party and although there will be a lot of people there I will feel like I am all by myself.The mountains can't come soon enough and I just got back from there.Its where my new hopes and dreams are.I guess for now I will just have to throw myself into work.
